i know nothing with any certainty

closing doors, opening windows

2008-10-03T03:13:00.002-05:00

you know that phrase, “when god closes a door he opens a window”? well, that’s kind of what having a chronic illness is like.

when i found out i had all these food allergies a few years ago, i just mused that it was my body’s way of saying, “you’ve had enough of this, try something else.” i was heartbroken to find out that shellfish and berries were on that list... but it made me seek out other foods and fruits that i normally wouldn’t go for.

i can say that my life has definitely changed since becoming sick. and when i say “changed,” it’s more like “exchanged.” i no longer consume artificial sweeteners if i can help it (it’s impossible to find long-lasting chewing gum that isn’t sugar-free!) and try to eat organic fruits and vegetables whenever possible. i don’t shave my legs with a razor, get manicures or pedicures, or fly on airplanes—all for fear of infection. (i am just so grateful and lucky to have traveled when i was younger.)

i can’t do even the most mundane tasks (such as laundry) without help or K doing most, if not all, of it. (when i used to live at my siblings’ house, i once cleaned the bathroom and ended up having a flare the next day.) i would venture to say that i sleep more than a newborn baby but i still feel tired afterward. i am on more medications on a daily basis than most senior citizens and i sweat constantly from the steroids. i have so many medical bills that i am considering bankruptcy.

however, so many good things have happened because of my illness as well. i moved closer to my family and see them all the time. i joined their church and have been going when i feel well. and one of the best things that could have happened was having K move closer to be with me. i read food labels a lot more now, and am more conscious of what goes in/on/near my body. i can’t say that i’m junk-free (yes, i need to work on that), but i take my vitamins and calcium (like i always said i would one day), and i am more sensitive to things that can bring on a flare. i also give myself manicures/pedicures, which, while saving tons of money, is not the same as having someone else give you one! however, i may one day stop using nail polish altogether because of the chemical contents. i am looking into organic makeup and health/beauty products as well.

before lupus, i was one of those persons who had to do everything herself... i always thought that asking for help was a sign of weakness. but acknowledging one’s limitations is not weak, it’s human. i mean, when you’re in the hospital hooked up to an IV and can barely stand up, much less lie in bed without being in pain, it’s better just to accept help than to fight it off. especially when you need to use the bathroom and can’t walk unaided. (nothing says “help me to the toilet” better than the thought of using a bedpan... though i probably should have opted for one now that i think of it.)

it’s difficult not to think about one’s humanity—mortality—when faced with an illness. i have much more compassion for those with illnesses and gratitude for those who make it their life’s work to find cures and treatments for them. i never understood the importance of donating blood until i had to have a transfusion... and another... and another. one of the most bittersweet decisions i’ve had to make is to not have children—i’d always assumed that i would have at least one. in a way, it is kind of a relief, because of the fucked up genetic legacy that i would be passing on if i did have a child. there will probably always be a hole in my heart because of it, but i’ve found some comfort in knowing that i won’t have the responsibility that comes with having children—financially, emotionally and physically. consequently, i’ve come to relish the idea of having an extended dog family... they’re kind of like kids but they don’t talk back. :)

it’s kind of funny... being on a pretty hefty dose of steroids has its door/window moments, too. not only do they suppress my immune system, but they make me sweat like nobody’s business (i often wonder why i shower before i go out). however, my skin is fabulously clear—no blemishes like i had in San Francisco. and even though the steroids have made me gain a ton of weight, i can, without any reaction, eat shellfish and berries again.

go figure.

getting the "therapy" out of chemotherapy

2008-07-30T03:04:00.002-05:00

hey all.

i know it’s been a while since i last wrote (yes, i’m starting to sound like a broken record)... and usually i recap everyone with what new medical event has happened in the last month or so.

well, about two fridays ago, i had to spend the night in the hospital again. i received three units of blood, and then the next day almost received a chemotherapy drug called Rituxan. however, i was very apprehensive about taking it and decided not to receive it, even though my doctors were in agreement that it was the next necessary step in the treatment of my illnesses, namely lupus and autoimmune hemolytic anemia.

i’ve spent the last two weeks thinking, discussing, weighing and praying about this medication, and between my family and me, have decided that it’s for the best. though it is indicated for non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma or Rheumatoid Arthritis patients, its off-label indications include lupus and AHA. if i respond well to it (one of my doctors cited an unofficial 2/3 success rate), i should be receiving the infusions once a week for the next four weeks (or more). there are serious potential reactions to the medication (a rare one is death), so one can understand my hesitancy.

however, since my illnesses have been getting progressively worse, the treatments i am on don’t seem to be working and i seem to be transfusion-dependent (my blood transfusions have become monthly), Rituxan seems to be the best next step. there are other alternatives, but this one appears to have the most benefit. if for some reason this therapy doesn’t work out, the next possible step would be a splenectomy. but, i’ll cross that bridge when i get to it.

for now, i just put my faith in the knowledge of my doctors and the higher power that guides them. hopefully, the rewards will be worth the risks.

hello hello

2008-06-24T12:34:00.003-05:00

hey y’all... it’s been a while. since the last time i wrote, much has happened. birthdays, holidays, sick days.

in may, i was hospitalized overnight and received five units of blood. my hemoglobin had dropped to a dangerous 4.9 and i stayed for observation. it’s amazing i was able to function—even drive—at such a low level. at the beginning of this month, i was hospitalized overnight again for low hemoglobin—this time only 7.1. i received three units and was let go. that time, i had just been getting over a nasty cold/virus which probably didn’t help my anemia. (i gave the cold to K and he is STILL getting over it.)

i’ve been receiving my Aranesp injections again, and on tuesday had my blood checked again. it’s holding steady at just under 10, so i’m guessing that it’s finally kicking in. my platelet count is up, and my other counts are as well. however, my white blood cell count is still very low, so i have to be really careful not to get acutely sick. the week before i came down with my cold, i went to several of my nephews’ events: a preschool graduation, gymnastics olympics day, and a birthday party at Fun Max Jump-In ... all breeding grounds for germs.

my rheumatologist says that my Lupus could be bringing my white counts down, so we’re looking into different meds to stabilize them. my own bone marrow is producing as it should, but once my blood cells get into my bloodstream, something eats them up. a long-term treatment (if not cure) is a bone marrow transplant. however, my hematologist says that it’s a last-ditch effort, so i won’t even consider it for now. fingers crossed.

in other news, Karen and John finalized the date of their wedding, 03.07.09. it will take place at Agave Road, which is perfect for the Texas-themed wedding they were hoping for, including a mariachi band and a barbecue buffet. stay tuned for more details.

K and i are still going strong... he works from home during the day while i either go to my appointments or get out of the house. sometimes, though, if i’m feeling bad i’ll sleep for most of the day and we’ll have dinner together. most nights, we watch CSI reruns on cable—we’re junkies. i just finished working on a small contract graphic design project, so now i’m thinking about other projects, like a Save The Date card for Karen and John.

so there’s my update... what’s up with everyone else??

long time no blog

2008-04-24T23:03:00.002-05:00

hi everyone, it’s me again.

the past few months have been sort of busy for me, both health-wise and otherwise.

january through about mid-march, there was a weird situation in my family with a turned-out-to-be-crazy house guest... which caused much strife and stress with everyone (directly and indirectly) involved. for me, i needed to move out of my siblings’ house because the mental and physical stress was becoming too much to bear. and since K was moving to Texas, it was the perfect opportunity for me to branch out.

at the beginning of march, i was feeling extremely fatigued, and it turned out i needed a blood transfusion. luckily, i finally had insurance, and it was covered. K and i moved in together (scandalous, i know) on the ides of march (is that good or bad?) and slowly moved my stuff in. i had some furniture, but since K sold nearly everything he owned back in SF, he had to start over... we got a new 40" LCD tv, a dining set and we just got a new Honda Element (in Kiwi Green Metallic)—which we love love love, by the way.

april has been kind of a rough month... i had/have another infection in my right leg (same side as the one in september). the infection (gross alert:) turned out to be E. coli, and it was bad enough to require day surgery to have it incised and drained. however, since my blood levels were low (Hgn was 8.1), i spent two nights in the hospital so i could be transfused. since then, i have been seeing doctors just about every week, and have developed a “kissing lesion,” which is basically another infection on my other leg.

mid-april, my longtime pen-pal-turned-gal-pal, philippa, came to stay a few nights, which is always a welcome treat. we were able to catch up as if no time had elapsed and we hit the new outlet shops in Cypress... big surprise. i can’t believe our friendship has lasted 21 years!

last week, i had a rather unpleasant bone marrow biopsy done on my hipbone because my blood levels have been abnormal, especially my white blood counts. the preliminary results have been normal, so that’s promising. i won’t know for sure until all tests come back, though. fingers crossed.

and if that wasn’t enough, i had to see yet another doctor on monday (aka my birthday) for more swelling/inflammation in my private area. fun.

my birthday actually turned out great though. on sunday, my family threw me a fajita cookout and i had an ice cream cake. monday, my mom and i had lunch at Carino’s, and K took me out for a filet at Saltgrass. one of the best highlights of the day was finding out i was approved for disability benefits. since i’m not able to work or do school right now, the extra income is much needed and much appreciated. some days i sleep for 16 hours, and some days i feel fine. most days, though, i feel like i have the flu or some derivative of it. tasks like laundry and moving heavy objects can be real obstacles when i’m exhausted or in pain.

but i’m taking things one step at a time and trying to cope with everything as much as i can. i want to thank everyone for their kind thoughts and prayers... sometimes when my faith is weak, it is a comfort to know that others’ faiths are strong.

when it rains...

2008-01-20T21:15:00.000-06:00

i never expected the path of my life to take this many turns and end up where i am right now.

it's hard not to dwell and worry about all the things that have come out of my illnesses, on top of all the other stresses in my life and family.

earlier this month, i found out that my student insurance, which supposedly covered my last hospitalization, my doctors' visits and lab work... will probably be null and voided because my internet coursework didn't count as being a full-time student.

so... along with my student loan debt, i am looking at more than $100,000 in medical bills, not a cent of which i can repay.

on top of that, my three conditions (lupus, thalassemia and depression) pretty much render me uninsurable. so, i am without insurance right now, and i've already missed one Aranesp injection and round of bloodwork. i have appointments coming up, and if i can't get major risk insurance before that, i'll have to pay for them out of pocket. luckily, i'm getting my CellCept for free, so i don't have to worry about that. all my other medications are generics, so i can get them cheap.

and if that weren't an insult to injury, i may be taking a leave of absence from school. i did horribly in both my classes last semester and if i have to get a job to maybe try to get insurance (with a non-exclusion clause for pre-existing conditions) and earn some money, i may either take one class this semester or delay until the fall.

for the past five days or so, i've had one long flare consisting of low-grade fevers as high as 100.3° F, extreme exhaustion, body aches and pain in my side bad enough that i could barely lift my leg to put on a pair of pants. i know it's been a direct result of all my stress and drama that's been going on in my family (it's too complicated to explain).

consequently, i'm in the process of filing for Social Security Disability—something i never thought i'd have to do at the age of 30. one of my dad's patients, who is actually an assistant to Congressman Ron Paul (aka a caseworker for SS), is helping me with the process. he said that once i've filed my application, he'll Congressionally flag it to expedite the process. for that, i'm really, really thankful. my appointment with my local SS office is on February 6th, so wish me luck.

i'm really trying hard to not be depressed about all of this since stress causes flares... but it's hard not to be. i cry often and hard, and try to make sense of why this has happened to me. maybe i'll never know why, but perhaps it's in the questioning that i'll do the most growing and learning.

but for right now, it's all just salt in the wound.

Christmas hellos... and goodbyes

2007-12-28T22:07:00.000-06:00

hey there... i hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas, spent with loved ones. the holidays just don't seem right without them. for me, especially.

so much has happened this year in my family alone... i am just so thankful that my health is somewhat stable right now and i'm not in the hospital. i received more than my fair share of gifts this year: coming home to be with my family, blood transfusions from those i know (my dad and future brother-in-law) and those i don't, finding good doctors and answers to my ailments, having my brother and K move to Texas.

one present under the tree that was significantly poignant was from my mom and dad... it's pale pink, probably weighs about 5 lbs., is over 50 years old, and symbolizes over 27 years of memories.

it's a brick.

but not just any old brick. it's a brick from the house i grew up in, the house we moved into when i was just three. for all intents and purposes, my memories began in that house. i remember nothing prior to moving to Texas from Illinois, and rely only on stories from my parents and siblings of life before.

my memories of life in the house with the pink brick are mostly fond and warm. being the youngest of five, i saw all my siblings leave for college, one by one... and return home at some point or another when their lives took different paths. i remember playing with my cousin and sister during the summertime, eating Blue Bell Bullets by the pool and swimming all day. i remember tying a string to my loose tooth and the other end to a doorknob to try to yank it out (i think i wiggled it loose instead). i remember the clickety-clack of my mother's heels as she walked through the house. the smell of banana pancakes and sizzling bacon on saturday mornings. looking out the kitchen window above the sink and seeing the magnolia tree in bloom. picking camellias from the tree just outside.

i remember looking inside my mother's cedar closet with rapt curiosity at all her off-season clothes, fur coats and teeny tiny bead-encrusted heels from the Philippines. i remember playing with my Barbies and making them their own dream house out of discarded bottle caps and creamer tubs and cardboard boxes. i remember having my grandparents stay with us and getting to know them, if only for a short while. i remember after they left to return to the Philippines, having appendicitis and my own dad (a GP!) not believing me. i also remember the huge white teddy bear he gave me in his guilt. :)

i remember Thanksgivings and Christmases and Easters, when the house was warm and filled with family and friends and food. i remember practicing my violin in the living room and having the cat sleep in its case while i played. i remember Heidi, our beloved German shepherd/Chow mix, and how she would take something you gave her, and politely take it to her stash behind the couch in the sunroom. i remember watching TV with my dad at night when i was little, and pretending to be asleep so he would carry me to bed.

i remember a lot of things about that house. it's no longer there–it was torn down almost a month ago. what's left is some dirt, a huge clearing where the house once stood, and a pile of pink bricks.

i found an Irish proverb which says: "Bricks and mortar make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home."

i cried when i opened my brick, which included some photos of me in or around the house. i can't in all honesty say that i ever loved the house with the pink brick, but rather the home it came to be.

are you there, readers? it's me, sheila

2007-12-21T23:01:00.001-06:00

hi.

i know it's been a long time since i've written. a lot has happened since my last post, and i thought i would take a hiatus from writing so i could make sense of what was and is happening to me.

the last time i wrote, i was in the hospital, and i stayed there for 16 days. my infection was pretty bad and it, like a domino effect, generated an autoimmune response and also made my anemia worse. to top it off, my depression worsened and i cried just about every day.

i was in such extreme pain that even just lying in bed made me wince and brought me to tears. on several occasions, i had to have morphine to kill the pain. i felt pretty helpless, especially since i had to have my family help me to the toilet, get dressed and even shower. when family would visit, i would ride down to the lobby in a wheelchair because i couldn't walk.

because of the amount of blood being drawn from me every day, my anemia and the need for blood transfusions, i had what is called a PICC line inserted. PICC stands for Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter, which is in essence, a central line. it negated the need for an IV and repeated needle stickings. before it was inserted, i was purple and blue all up and down my arms and hands from the daily draws.

because my infection was so severe, my hemoglobin level was really low and i needed a transfusion. in addition to that anemic insult, my immune system was going haywire, and i had spiking fevers every night almost like clockwork, starting with chills and resulting in fevers as high as 103 degrees F. i would then need an icebath to bring my temperature down, which typically worked. in the early morning, i would inevitably wake up soaked with sweat, and would have to change my clothes and bed linens. this was my routine for a good two weeks.

during this time, i was on some powerful IV antibiotics, and barely had energy to do much, nor did i have much of an appetite. i had teams of doctors on my case, and at one point, i had to have a biopsy on my leg so they could rule out other conditions.

almost every day, i had a visitor (either clergy or lay) from my mom's church, which was really thoughtful, even though my faith in god was barely palpable. i'm still struggling with it.

finally, my fevers, as well as my anemia, were under control and my leg was healing enough so that i could go home.

"home" is a house which i share with my brother, sister and her fiancé, in a suburb outside of houston. my online classes started the day before i was admitted into the hospital, so with the help and encouragement (and downright cattle-prodding) of my family, i tried to keep up with my schoolwork as best as i could, despite the circumstances.

since my hospitalization, i've changed to a new Rheumatologist. after seeing Dr. Tan a handful of times, and having him run a battery of tests on me, his working diagnosis for me is early Lupus, or Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE), which is a chronic autoimmune disease that is unpredictable and characterized by periods of illness (flares) alternating with periods of remission. in october and november, it seemed like my symptoms were at their worst; i would often sleep up to 16 hours a day and still feel fatigued, with flu-like aches and pains and low-grade fevers.

about a month ago, in addition to the drugs i am already taking, Dr. Tan put me on a drug called CellCept. it is actually an anti-organ rejection medication for transplant patients. the idea behind this line of therapy is to lower the immune system so that the bodies of patients who receive a transplant will not reject the new organ. for Lupus patients, the mechanism is the same, only no transplanted organ is involved, just the immune system. CellCept suppresses the immune system, which is good for the disease, but bad for my overall health. now i'm much more susceptible to infections (viruses, etc.), because my white blood cell and platelet counts are lowered.

consequently, my hemoglobin was also lowered, resulting in yet another blood transfusion. additionally, my Hematologist, Dr. McCarthy, decided to put me on Aranesp, which is an injection which stimulates bone marrow production in transplant, kidney, cancer and HIV-positive patients. it isn't indicated for anemia patients, but he's had some success with patients who have Thalassemia like me. so far, it seems to be working.

so... needless to say, it's been a tough several months. two saturdays ago, we had a garage sale to raise money for my CellCept (one month is almost $900). i overworked myself and exposed myself to the sun for too long with only a hat and a tent for protection. [the sun apparently causes flares in Lupus patients–i wear sunscreen daily on all exposed skin and try not to be outside during the hottest parts of the day.] the next day, we were supposed to continue the garage sale, but i ended up having a flare, and spent the better part of the day in bed. luckily, i applied for patient assistance from Roche, CellCept's manufacturer, and am now receiving my meds free.

they say that every cloud has a silver lining, and even though some days i feel angry, exhausted, uncertain, or just downright low, i have to remember the positive things that have come out of this whole experience:

+ i've moved back to Texas and am with my family, the best support network i could ever hope for
+ i have a better appreciation for life and its unpredictability, and as a result,
+ i try not to take anything for granted

the best thing, however, is that K is moving here! he was approved to work remotely from his job, and plans on being here by March. i am beyond excited.

at any rate, it's good to be back on the blog. i am still trying to process everything that has happened to me in the past six months, but at least i know now what i'm up against and hopefully, the CellCept therapy will force my Lupus into remission.

fingers crossed.

Tales of Anemic Girl... Back in the Hospital

2007-09-10T12:35:00.000-05:00

Just a quick post from the Perpetually Sick Girl, yours truly.

I'm back in the hospital again, yay!

I came to the ER on Friday night and have been here ever since. It's hard to say when I'll be able to leave because I have a really nasty skin infection on my upper thigh/groin region.

I think it started while I was in San Francisco, or maybe earlier... I remember nicking myself while shaving and then developing a red, hot welt. It progressively got bigger, harder and hotter, and by the time I got back to Texas, I wasn't able to walk onto/off the plane. All last week, I suffered (needlessly) thinking the swelling would go down. But on Friday, I just couldn't take the pain anymore so we came to the hospital. I've been on some serious antibiotics ever since, and have even received morphine for the pain.

So, for those of you keeping score, this is my fourth trip to the ER and my third hospital admission. I've been in the hospital so many times, the staff (from nurses to porters) remember me!

Soon I'll be getting my punchcard: buy three visits, get one free.

Tales of Anemic Girl... Still Here

2007-08-15T22:26:00.000-05:00

hi everyone, i’m still here. i thought i’d give y’all an update on my current condition.

today was the first day (after twelve) that i didn’t wake up with a fever. as i mentioned in my last post, i came down with a fairly nasty UTI (urinary tract infection for those uninitiated to this lovely afflliction).

i had probably had the infection for awhile, and i just didn’t recognize the pains because they were different from my last one. five days of antibiotics turned into 7, which in turn, turned into 10, but to no avail. (well, with the pain, anyway.) to top it off, i had diarrhea (sorry, gross!) for a good deal of those days, which hampered my efforts of drinking tons of water, since you’re not supposed to eat or drink anything if you have that.

what also sucked, besides the searing pain in my right groin, side and back, was even though my heart is well enough that i’m able to sleep on my sides, and having slept on my back for the better part of two months (i’m a side and stomach sleeper), i couldn’t.

i went for testing (blood, urine, abdominal ultrasound) last week in Lake Jackson, but the results were either negative or inconclusive. i even went for a CT scan on Monday (for which i had to drink the nastiest banana-flavored barium suspension the night and morning before), which only showed scar tissue from my appendectomy 21 years ago.

i also had my follow-up appointment with my hematologist, and he confirmed that i had Alpha Thalassemia Minor, which is a type of anemia. the only treatment for it is to take folic acid, watch who I marry and have kids with, and to be careful with getting infections, since my baseline hemoglobin is much lower than that of the average person.

last night, Karen suggested that i take a hot bubble bath in her Jacuzzi tub. that, coupled with a Celebrex (which is used for arthritis and inflammation) WORKED WONDERS. in a short amount of time, i could feel my pains dissipating and was able to sleep on my side again.

so... the upshot of all of this? my immune system is still betraying me, but i’m not going to let it, if i can help it. it seems like every time i get sick in the future, the corresponding body part or organ will become inflamed. if that’s the case, i really hope i can fight back, either with medicine or some other therapy.

on friday, i’ll be boarding a plane for San Francisco so i can box my things and move back to Texas for good. i bought some Airborne that i fully intend to take before then. i’ve also procured a surgical face mask for the flight so i don’t get infected. call me paranoid, but quite frankly, i’m tired of being sick.

Anemic Girl: Notes To Self

2007-08-03T11:46:00.000-05:00

drinking Sprite instead of water while sick only makes you sicker.

case in point: i woke up with a 100.4° fever this morning, with pains in my right abdomen and groin. while the past few days i thought i had pulled a muscle on my right side (even though i haven’t done anything strenuous) it turns out i have a UTI.

next?

Tales of Anemic Girl... An Update

2007-07-28T18:27:00.000-05:00

hello again, it’s me.

just thought i’d update everyone on my current condition... right now i feel ok, but other times i feel achy, like i’m coming down with the flu. sometimes i have a sore throat, other times i have joint pains. my heart still beats fast and skips, but not as often as before. i suppose it’s all related—and all inflammatory.

yesterday morning, i saw my Rheumatologist, Dr. Sandra Sesssoms. i had my blood taken for testing the day before so she would have the results. so far, my hemoglobin is at 10 (normal range is 12–16), and the marker for inflammation was like 2.8 or so. when i was in the hospital, it was more like 9.4. so it seems that my numbers are coming up and going down, respectively, but they are still out of the normal ranges.

a few things are still uncertain; i guess namely what exactly is “wrong” with me. Dr. Sessoms thinks that what i had was a virus that went on too long, and i couldn’t quite fight it on account of my anemia. what is still a mystery from my first hospitalization was the presence of schistocytes on my blood smear, or fragmented or destroyed red blood cells. apparently, something (ie, my spleen) was chewing them up and spitting them back out.

the other mystery is my pericardial effusion, which i still have. the cause could be from a virus, or from the inflammation. i’m not in any real danger though, so that’s good to know. i do feel a lot better after the transfusion, and it feels like my heart is more cushioned from the blood.

in about a week, i’ll be giving more blood... and they’ll be checking my immunoglobin levels—there may be a reason why i’m always the Sick Kid. the week after that, i have a follow-up visit with my Hematologist, so hopefully i’ll finally find out what kind of anemia i have, and if in the future i’ll need more transfusions or even a hormone shot that stimulates red blood cell production (something they give to cancer patients).

for now, i’m just taking it easy... in a few weeks, i’ll be traveling back to SF so i can pack up my things and say goodbye.

Tales of Anemic Girl... The Relapse

2007-07-23T08:47:00.000-05:00

hi everyone... just another update from yours truly.

as i may have told some of you, i spent another few days in the hospital last week. late tuesday night, i had some alarming heart palpitations as i was getting ready for bed, so i woke up Karen so we could go to the ER.

we got to Methodist Hospital in roughly twenty minutes and i was seen right away. since i had just been in the hospital, they were able to pull my chart and review my history. they wasted no time taking an EKG of my heart, a blood sample, and a chest X-ray. i guess with heart stuff, they don’t mess around.

after the ER doc and a Cardiologist saw me, they decided to admit me. by the time i got to my room, it was about 5 or 5:30 in the morning Wednesday. the nurse on duty asked me a ton of questions for my patient profile (which was never done during my last stay). also, she told me that my hemoglobin was a very low 7.4, and that i would be needing a blood transfusion... this was something that was mentioned the last time i was in the hospital, but never came to fruition. i called my parents and sister Aileen, and they said they would all come to donate blood for me.

a few hours later, i was wheeled up to the Cardiac unit, where i had an Echocardiogram done. (basically an ultrasound of the heart.) it was kind of weird to be there since most of the other patients were older or elderly men and women, and i just felt like an out-of-place kid.

after about 15 minutes of waiting, i was wheeled into a small room where my echo was to be done. coincidentally, i had the same tech from my last ER jaunt. he actually remembered me, which was kind of cool. it was kind of surreal to see my heart on the screen, beating.

after that, i got back to my room and saw that Karen had gone to work (she works in the Medical Center, just a few minutes away). i got to eat breakfast, and then i was hooked up to a portable heart monitor. around lunch time, Aileen came to see me and shortly thereafter, my parents came. they had taken the afternoon off because i was scheduled to see my Rheumatologist that day, and were going to accompany me at my appointment. all three of them tried to donate their blood to me, but for some reason or another were rejected. John, Karen’s boyfriend, had his blood typed, and he was the only one that donated. (even though we were a match, it would still take a couple of days for the blood to be tested. turns out we were even the same blood type.)

all day long, teams of doctors came to see me: Cardiology and Hematology and even Psychiatry.... basically, they determined that i needed more blood because my heart was working too hard without it. so, around dinner, i received two units (pints) of blood. each unit took about four hours to transfuse.

at one point, i fell asleep because they gave me Benadryl in case of an allergic reaction to the blood. when i woke up, there was a bit of a commotion in my room. (it was a big, semi-private room on the Transplant Unit of the hospital as there were no beds available on the main floor.) apparently, my new roommate was an elderly woman just transferred up from the ER. her adult children were panicking because she was unresponsive—she was having a stroke! the curtain between us was drawn, so i couldn’t see anything, but i could hear her children trying to communicate with her and find out what she needed. before long, they transferred her to the ICU and it was eerily quiet. i felt so bad for their family.

at around 10 pm, one of my blood doctors came to see me and explained what was happening to me. during my last stay in the hospital, the test for the type of anemia they thought i had came back normal, so they were testing my blood again for a different one. he said that since i had the anemia, coupled with the rheumatological complications, it was hard to say if i would be needing more transfusions in the future, or a type of hormone they give to cancer patients to stimulate red blood cell production in my bone marrow. (which had been supressed by whatever acute illness i suffered from previously.) he did put me on folic acid, however, which is something they give to certain iron-resistant anemia sufferers.

anyway... the next morning, i got some good news: my hemoglobin went from 7.4 to 10.2! that was a huge difference (i think normal is around 11), and i felt more alive. i could feel my heart was working/suffering a lot less, too, which was the most important thing.

i spent one more night in the hospital for monitoring, and the next afternoon i was discharged.

since then, i have been able to withstand longer shopping excursions (we went to Katy Mills Mall on Saturday for a few hours) and i can climb stairs without feeling like my heart is going to quit. i still get tired, but it seems like i have more stamina. i still have a small but insignificant pericardial effusion, and i’m taking more medications than i ever have in my entire life, but they’re keeping my whacked-out body in check.

for now, that’s all i can really ask for.

Boba: An Ode

2007-07-14T21:00:00.000-05:00

i thought i’d take a break from my self-pity party to exalt the Asian drink, Boba, otherwise known as Tapioca or Bubble Tea:

[to the tune of “O Christmas Tree”]

Oh Bubble Tea! Oh Bubble Tea!
Your tapioca’s so fine.
Oh Bubble Tea! Oh Bubble Tea!
Your tapioca's so fine.
They’re smooth and round and chewy too;
They fill my mouth with sweetened goo.
Oh Bubble Tea! Oh Bubble Tea!
Your tapioca’s so fine.

Tales of Anemic Girl... The Heartest Part

2007-07-10T09:25:00.000-05:00

hello all. it’s me again, your Patient-In-Residence.

just thought i’d update everyone on how i’m doing. i’m not sure who even reads this anymore, but it’s still a comfort for me to write on, so i keep coming back.

the day after my last post, i went to see a Cardiologist in my hometown. he took an echocardiogram of my heart. turns out that i have a pericardial effusion, which was something i was found to have while i was in the hospital. basically, i have fluid around my heart, which causes the following symptoms (all of which i have at some point or another):

Fluid retention (edema)
Low blood pressure
Shortness of breath
Dizziness or fainting
Chest pain
Cough
Fast heart rate or heart palpitations

so basically, i am walking around like a 90 year-old, trying not to upset my heart, but even the smallest exertion or movement makes it skip or race. so, i’m being confined to bedrest, or something quite close to it so i can heal.

on top of everything else, my hemoglobin is still relatively low (causing my anemia), so i’ve been feeling pretty weak. i just spoke with my Rheumatologist yesterday, and she is going to wean me off the steroids and put me on Plaquinil, which should help the inflammation and the effusion. she did say that i wasn’t in any real danger, which was such a comfort for me to hear, since i’ve been kind of scared of the unpredictability of this whole illness anyway. if anyone is keeping score, all signs point to an inflammatory or autoimmune disorder/disease.

so... for the time being, i am just taking every day as it comes, and trying not to worry or dwell on the bad stuff, which seems to be the hardest part.

happy fourth!

2007-07-04T13:51:00.000-05:00

i hope this post finds everyone healthy and happy... full of hot dogs and hamburgers and everything fourth. it’s raining here in my part of Texas, so our festivities have been contained to the inside.

i’m still in the recovery process of what was and is still a surreal turn of events. i’m not even certain as to what truly happened to me. i have standing orders for weekly blood tests and follow-up visits with my Rheumatologist and a Cardiologist. my heart continues to race (approx. 120 beats per minute) and i get tired and short of breath easily, some of my join pains are returning and i am still suffering from withdrawals from the antidepressant i was on for SAD (i discontinued using it because i was suffering from over 20 side effects while i was on it.)

every day i’ve been trying to get out of the house, just so i don’t get bored or more depressed. plus, the small bit of walking around (even if it is in a store) is good for me since i was in a hospital bed for a week. my arms are still bruised from where my IV line was inserted and the countless blood samples were taken.

the past two weeks have been so hard on everyone in my family and even K, in the chaos and stress of everything:

+the day i got admitted and was sent to the ICU, was also my mom’s birthday
+the same night i got discharged, Pedals, Karen’s dog, had to go the the Pet ER for blood in her stool (a $400 visit)
+less than 12 hours later, Karen’s car had $500 worth of work done on it
+Saturday night, my mom forgot her purse in a cart at a Wal-Mart Super Center, it got stolen and the thieves charged up her credit cards and debit cards
+i had a meltdown at church and while taking communion
+i had another meltdown at Johnny Carino’s last night, after we had the shittiest service ever
+K is sick

to top it off, i may not be returning to San Francisco... i might be moving back here to Texas and finishing my degree online. every time i think about it, i can’t help but cry. and then my heart starts to pound and i can’t catch my breath... so i try not to think about it. my main focus is regaining my strength so i can make that decision when i am more able.

anyway... sorry this post turned into a downer. it’s cathartic for me to type it all out.

Tales of Anemic Girl... The Release!

2007-06-29T08:47:00.000-05:00

good news: i was discharged from the hospital last night!!

it was so good to be back home with my family and K (who has been here with me for the past week).

i won't post a long one today, but here's what happened to me in a nutshell:

i got sick with flu-like symptoms, had spiking fevers and joint pains so painful i couldn't walk onto or off of the airplane coming to Texas. i went to the emergency room last Wednesday night, and then again last Friday morning. i spent Saturday in the ICU, and the rest of my time in a regular room.

i am still unsure of my official diagnosis, but what i do know is that i have a rare form of anemia that may have been worsened by some type of virus (still unknown... but one doctor postulated Rheumatic Fever).

for the next two months, i will be on steroids (yay, i can finally make it in the Major Leagues ;)) and monitoring my blood count and overall health... i'm not sure when i'll be back to San Francisco, but for the time being, i am here at my sister's house in Pearland, close to the Medical Center in Houston should anything else arise.

ok. that's enough for now... kinda getting tired. i will update more later.

AG

Tales of Anemic Girl... Part One

2007-06-27T15:37:00.000-05:00

ok... so i know i haven’t written on my blog in FOREVS, but i have had good reason.

i’m currently writing this entry from the Methodist Hospital in Houston, Texas, where i’ve been since Friday morning... it’s a long story as to how i got here (especially since i was in San Francisco this time last week!), but i came to the Emergency Room and have been here ever since. i even spent one night in the ICU! (THAT was scary and definitely an experience).

anyway... i just thought i’d share that with those of you who read this, but with whom i don’t speak on a regular basis. the doctors (and i’ve seen quite a few) still don’t know what’s wrong with me, but they are fairly certain that i have a rare type of anemia. i feel like That Patient on shows like “House” or “ER” that no one can diagnose... i am a Resident’s wet dream.

when i have more energy, i will write a longer post detailing how i got to be here and any updates that i might have. i feel ok, but get tired easily... so i have to take it kinda slow.

and for those of you whom have been praying for me and keeping me in your thoughts.... my heartfelt thank yous. i was pretty scared when i first got here, but i’ve kind of resolved to leave it up to the doctors and medical professionals who know what they’re doing (even if i am a mystery to them).

long time no blog

2007-06-01T10:59:00.000-05:00

hi everyone...

i know i haven't blogged in a month, but trust me, i've had good reasons: finals, a wedding to go to and family time in Texas.

most notably, however, i've been struggling for several months now with my health and its effects on school, relationships and even work.

while i was in Texas, i was diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is a part of the depression i've been suffering from for the past year (and probably longer).

i won't go into detail as to what exactly happened this semester, but know that it was my most difficult to date, and i almost didn't finish. my relationships with those closest to me suffered, and even women at work noticed.

i'm on a new medication and after about a week of being on it, i can finally feel it working. the "fog" i've lived in for so long seems like it's slowly starting to lift... despite the actual fog that still envelops the city in which i live.

yeariversary and a tea party

2007-05-02T01:22:00.000-05:00

hey y’all—

this past weekend, i celebrated two milestones: turning thirty (again) and one year with K.

friday, K made me dinner! i was very impressed by his cooking prowess when he busted out rosemary new potatoes, baked salmon and asparagus. we toasted with some Sofia (Coppola) sparkling wine and exchanged presents... i bought K a Dualit toaster (handmade in England), hopefully the last one he’ll ever own. he’s been drooling over them for about, oh, ten years or so. the one i got him looks like this:

if you REALLY like toast, i highly recommend this beaut.

since he got me something practical for my birthday (a digital pen tablet for school), he opted for something more gift-y for our yeariversary... a gift certificate for a facial and a lovely pair of earrings from Tiffany & Co., which look like these:beautiful, no? they are little works of art expressed in sterling...

on saturday, i celebrated my 30th again with some friends at Lovejoy’s. it’s always a treat going there, and it was nice to see some friends i haven’t seen in a while. i don’t have a picture to post, because i forgot to have our server take one. oh well. i have the memories. and the extra calories from the cupcakes. ;)

the next two weeks will be pretty hellish, as finals are just around the corner. so, if you’re wondering where i am, i’m probably in my room, buried under a stack of projects...

i can’t believe it’s May already! where does the time go?

(maybe it’s with my brown velour pants and they’re having a party without me...)

thirty is the new... uh... thirty

2007-04-23T19:25:00.000-05:00

so i’m thirty!

i’m not sure if i’m “30, flirty and thriving”... but hey, one out of three ain’t bad. j/k

i have plans for a tea party on saturday at Lovejoy’s with a few of my friends and K, but my actual birthday was this past saturday.

my day started with coffee from Starbucks and pastries from Noe Valley Bakery. then, K took me to Silk for a manicure and pedicure, which was a welcome treat for my rough-looking toes. it is like a little bit of heaven going in there! they really do pamper your hands and feet.

after my mani-pedi, K brought me home so i could get ready for dinner. he made reservations at Ruth’s Chris Steak House. i had heard their food was good... but little did i know how superb it was going to be!

our reservations were for 6:15, and since it was raining, K dropped me off so he could find parking (the Baby Lex is tricky to drive, and he doesn't trust the valets to drive it properly). i waited for him for about 20 minutes or so while hordes of people came in and out... the kind folks at RC asked me if i wanted to be seated without him, but i told them i'd wait.

finally, K came in and we were seated with our menus... and we waited another 20 minutes without so much as a nod in our direction. no one came with water or even acknowledged us. we were both starving since we were saving up for a big meal, and i was getting crabby since i basically waited for about 40 minutes to even BEGIN thinking about eating.

so, K got up to complain (and i told him to play the birthday card, which he did)... and the MOST AMAZING MEAL and SERVICE followed:

our server, Desiree, came over and apologized several times (very professionally too, without fawning or ass-kissing). she took our order, and shortly thereafter, the manager came over and also apologized. he then said he was sending over an appetizer on the house!

after we received our drinks (Hogue riesling for me, iced tea for K), water service began, and we had our choice of still or fizzy bottled fancy stuff (also on the house), followed shortly by the bread (very yummy).

THEN... The Most Amazing Appetizer followed: Osso Buco Ravioli!!!!!!! ohhhhhhhh it was soooo yums. the meat was so deliciously tender and seasoned perfectly, and each piece was topped with sauteed spinach. i could feel my crabbiness melting away...

after the appetizer, came our salad, which was the baby arugula with warm bacon dressing. holy crap it was perfect.

still with me?

finally, the star of the caloriefest came: filet mignon, served medium on 500-degree, sizzling hot plates. you haven't had steak if you haven't had it this way. the perfectly seasoned filets (salt, pepper, butter, parsley) came out and were STILL COOKING as they sat on our plates. K remarked how when he cut into his and touched it to his plate, it cooked the meat! magnificent.

for sides (yes, we had sides), we chose their famous au gratin and shoestring potatoes. spectacular.

finally, we had dessert, which was the caramelized banana cream pie. so good, i almost wept.

almost as amazing as the food was the bill. the management had comped not only the appetizer, but ALL the drinks (wine, fancy water, iced tea, coffee) and dessert as well. needless to say, Desiree got a fat tip that night.

in sum, it was one of the most amazing meals i've ever had. hey, you only turn thirty once... might as well do it up right! we'll definitely be going back there again, and i intend to write a letter thanking everyone for the experience.

thanks to everyone for their lovely birthday wishes! i'm not sure that i feel any different, but i am certain that i am SO lucky and grateful to have the love of my family, friends and boyfriend.

here's to the next decade of...? (you fill in the blank)

the case of the missing pants and PIN

2007-04-06T13:05:00.000-05:00

sigh.

for those of you who know me best, you probably know that i miss next to nothing (as in details and proofreading--probably has something to do with my being a designer) and i lose even less (as in information and tangible things).

well, i've lost two things! one is pretty important and the other is, well, just sentimental.

the first thing is my Personal Identification Number or PIN for one of my two check (debit) cards. the card and my information were compromised at the end of last year (you might have heard about the security breach at Marshall's and TJ Maxx stores) so i was sent a new one from my old credit union back in Texas. well, they sent a new PIN with it as well.

instead of memorizing it or changing it to the PIN i had previously... i set the paper aside and thought i'd deal with it later. well, after an EXHAUSTIVE paper purge and thorough search of my room... i can't find it. now when i use the card, i just sign for it like a credit transaction. but if i ever needed cash, i couldn't get any. i suppose i can just call for another card, but still... it's not like me to lose important stuff.

the other thing missing is a pair of pants. i just did laundry on monday, and when i went to get something to wear from my closet on wednesday, i noticed that my chocolate brown velour pants were missing. they weren't precious by any means, being that they were from Old Navy, but they fit really well and were oh-so comfy. it was like wearing the softest blanket, but as pants.

the last time i remember wearing them was in Carmel, on the beach. i had gotten them wet in the surf, and i had to remove them back at the hotel room and hang them up. when K and i left Carmel, i put them in a plastic bag because they were still wet and sandy. when we got back to the city, we emptied the rental car twice (once at my house and once at K's)... and surely by now if either of us had possession of the bag of pants, our noses would have told us.

so... i know there's a possibility that i could have thrown the PIN away accidentally, but how does one lose a pair of pants??? my room is incredibly small, and they are NOWHERE to be found.

maybe there's a black hole in my room...

three-oh

2007-04-03T14:02:00.000-05:00

so... the 21st of april, like a meteor, is hurtling uncontrollably my way and there's really no way for me to stop it.

i thought about those "30 things to do before you're thirty" lists... and, well, i doubt i'll be able to start one (much less finish one). instead, i found a list based on a book that touts what everyone SHOULD know how to do before they turn thirty...

the ones i already know how to do (or at least THINK i know how to do), i've marked with a + :

+1. wrap a present
+2. start a successful fire in a fireplace, at a campsite, and in a barbecue
3. finish a piece of furniture
4. get a raise
+5. order wine at a restaurant without getting stiffed
+6. parallel park in three breathtakingly beautiful movements
7. dance a "slow dance" without looking like an idiot
+8. use a full place setting properly, including chopsticks and Asian soup spoons
+9. clean your place in under 45 minutes, when friends, relatives, or prospective lovers are coming by unexpectedly, and soon
+10. hold your liquor
11. cure a hangover
12. do the Heimlich Maneuver
13. use a compass
14. change a flat
15. jump start a car
+16. open a champagne bottle
17. send a drink to someone's table
18. cook one "signature meal"
19. whistle with your fingers
+20. take good pictures
+21. fold a fitted sheet
22. remove common stains
+23. sew a button
+24. carve turkey, lasagna, and birthday cake
+25. hold a baby
+26. change a diaper
27. keep a plant alive for more than a year
+28. make dogs and cats love you
29. help someone (an older or ill person, a woman you're trying to impress, your mother) out of a car
+30. write superior thank you notes

some of those on the list i know how to do in theory, but have never been in a situation in which i've been forced to. i only marked the ones i have actually done. so, my question is: what else should i know by now?

call off all the dogs!

2007-04-02T00:41:00.000-05:00

finally! finally! finally!

he FINALLY did it!

K bought a car!!!!!!!

after more than a year of looking (and i’ll have known him for a year at the end of this month), K finally bought a new car!! this is what it looks like:

it is a 2007 Tungsten Pearl Lexus IS 250 and it is GORGEOUS! it is everything he wants in a car and nothing he doesn’t, and even has several features that he never KNEW he wanted!

i had actually suggested that he look at IS 250s several months ago, but he thought they were too slow and/or too expensive... and none of the ones he found (with manual transmission) were equipped the way he wanted them. i also said that the day he bought a car, everything would fall into place—the car would be right, the price would be right, the level of service would be hassle-free... i must be psychic or something, because that’s pretty much how it all went down:

on friday he got an e-mail from Lexus of Marin saying they had one in stock, with a manual transmission and virtually no unwanted options. they also quoted him a price that was $100 under invoice... it was sort of an offer he couldn’t ignore.

so, we drove up to Marin yesterday afternoon—it was a lovely day to drive over the Golden Gate Bridge—and we got to Marin/San Rafael just before 3 o’clock. shortly after we got there, we were passed off to another salesguy and soon we were on our first test drive.

first off, i have to say that i LOVE Lexuses (Lexi?). my parents got one in 2000 and it still drives well. Lexuses retain their value really well and pretty much last forever. not to mention, they are extremely safe cars. so getting one is pretty much a no-brainer.

the test drive went pretty well, despite K having some difficulty with the clutch. we were able to drive around downtown San Rafael, and even drove down the street on which the movie American Graffiti was filmed! it’s such a picturesque little place that i never even knew existed, if only by name.

when we got back to the dealership, K had some serious thinking to do... after looking at the sticker on the car, we realized the price he was quoted was about $4600 under. it was too good of a deal to pass up and i told him that if he left the dealership without the car, i would be SO mad at him. it was also the last day of the month, and the dealership was eager to make their numbers (to which our salesguy even frankly admitted).

after more than an hour of thinking about the car and calling his dad to confer about the purchase, we asked the salesguy for another test drive, just to be sure. i realized that during the first go-round, the car mats were turned upside-down (to keep them clean) and the rubber and cleats were hampering his ability to really feel the clutch and properly position his foot. so we went on another short drive after the mats were turned rightside-up, which seemed to make all the difference in the world.

by that time, it was closing in on 5 pm (they close at 6) and once we got back to the dealership, K was pretty much sold. so, they appraised the Baby Shark and gave him full value for his trade. after that, they started the credit check and all the other things that go along with buying a car. it seemed to take forever! there were a few slight snags here and there, but nothing major happened. K has top-tier credit and his trade-in was in good condition, so he pretty much had all his ducks in a row. the poor thing was a nervous wreck though and i’m glad i was there to be of some support to him.

by the time all the papers were signed and the car was fresh from being pristinely detailed, it was 8 pm. we were both exhausted and ready to leave. neither of us had much of anything to eat all day and the emotions and stress were definitely wearing on K. we finally left after a quick tutorial about some of the car’s features and got home. we were both too tired to even have a celebratory dinner (even takeout)!

now everyone can stop asking me if K has bought a car... just don’t start asking me if you want a ride. :P

the cutest thing ever ever ever

2007-03-23T10:00:00.000-05:00

it's friday... which most likely means slacking off and looking at fluff on the net. might as well be animals!

cute cute cute!

i break for spring

2007-03-20T10:27:00.001-05:00

hello folks! though i'm at work, i am officially on spring break.

this weekend, K and i took a little trip to Carmel By-The-Sea, or more commonly known as Carmel. it was our first trip together ever and not surprisingly, it was a nice little getaway.

we left on saturday and got into Carmel at around 6:30 pm. we checked into our little hotel and then proceeded to find a place to eat. i'd taken some brochures from the lobby and we decided to eat at a nearby shopping village. we drove the mile or so to the place and it was SO dead! it's definitely the off-season, so that, coupled with the fact that Carmel is SO tiny... meant very few places to eat. we did find a pretty good seafood place that seemed to be popular. we both got the fish and chips, and took their famous coconut and caramel cream pie to go.

sunday, we slept in and ate our pie for breakfast while watching the food network. admittedly, we should have gotten up earlier to take in more sights, but we made a lazy day of it. plus, the weather was cold and grey. we wanted to see the Monterey Bay Aquarium, but apparently, that's a bit of an all-day affair, so we stayed local, going into the little shops on the main part of downtown. then we headed to Carmel Beach where i walked barefoot on the beautiful (but cold) sand. after our little stroll, we went back to the hotel where we got ready for our one nice dinner in town, at the Village Corner. we both had the filet mignon, which was served with a mushroom and spinach crepe. divine!

monday morning we got up a little early to check out, have breakfast and hit some stores before heading back to the city. i went into Coach (which turned out to be a factory outlet--yay!) and got a little black purse i can tuck under my arm, and K got me a brown and pink hoodie that says "Carmel." we also went into Chatel, a high-end watch store, so K could drool over some of these. of course the weather was absolutely gorgeous, but we had to get back.

after we returned the rental car, we headed downtown for a late lunch at 'wichcraft and to catch the new movie, 300, which, though very gory and graphic, turned out to be better than i thought.

today, i was back at work at 6 am. arrrrrrrrrgh.

anyway... hope everyone has a great week! my warmest BIRTHDAY wishes to Philippa! xoxo

greedy groupie, redux... or sorry for slacking

2007-03-02T13:22:00.000-06:00

so... yes, i've been a blogslacker. sorry 'bout that.

anyway, i'm at work right now, and it's actually fairly busy, but i thought i'd toss you a little snack-post to tide you over.

last night K and i saw Alexi Murdoch at Cafe du Nord, for Noise Pop! 2007. despite having rude people cutting in front of me and obscuring my view (i had to ask a rudy to take off her hat, because i couldn't see... she opted to move aside instead), the show was pretty great. Alexi was modest and as talented as ever. he even played a few songs with the help of some members of one of the cover bands, Midnight Movies. i have to say, though, that i prefer him solo. even still, the show was great, and he played my favorite song, "Wait."

the only thing that sucked was that Alexi didn't go on until about midnight, which made the show end after 1 am! i didn't get home until about 1:30... and i had to be here at 6 am to open!!! soooooooo cruel.

in other news, um... i have no other news. school is chugging away, and i'm trying really hard to like my projects. Spring Break is in a few weeks, so that should be fun. K wants to take me to Napa. yesterday was our 10 monthiversary (well, technically the 29th is, but that's not possible for February). we've not taken a trip together yet, so it should be fun! Napa is always a good time.

anyway... i think i need to grab something to eat. a girl cannot survive on a Venti Caramel Macchiato and knock-off Teddy Grahams from Trader Joe's alone.

hope everyone has a stellar weekend!

greetings from a rainy san francisco

2007-02-09T08:58:00.000-06:00

hello my lovelies! so sorry i've not posted in ages.

i just switched over to the new version of blogger, and it took me a while to remember my password for my gmail account (which i obviously use with regularity). so we'll see if this upgraded blogger will be any better...

let's see... since i posted last, i finished my first two scarves, after teaching myself how to bind off online. of course, neither of them are very wearable since the skeins of yarn from which they were made were shorties from italy. which, in turn, made short scarves. but hey, they're cute! and lots of ladies at work who knit complimented me on my handiwork and precision. i also taught myself how to purl, since that wasn't in Nicole's Tutorial when i was at home... purling is a bit more challenging, but i like the fact that i'm knitting something different and that the stockinette stitch grows so much faster than the straight stitch. it does take more concentration, though, and i'm making lots of mistakes. (a good thing.) one little italian grandma at work was teaching me how to work more efficiently and even Serena, my coworker, was giving me tips. i promise i will post photos of the completed scarfettes.

school is going ok so far... my projects are somewhat exciting, but not as exciting as packaging. (i'm not taking any packaging classes this semester.) current projects in the works: a corporate annual report (i chose Chipotle Mexican Grill as my company) for GD2 and a poetry book for Type 3. i decided to go with William Carlos Williams as my poet and i'm going to be taking my own photography in the style of William Eggleston... it should be a lot of hard work, but hopefully i can create something really beautiful.

just the other day, i received my new juicer in the mail. i ordered it in white, and i LOVE it! my mom has been on a health kick recently (she suffers from a host of different ailments, like eczema, hypertension, GERD, etc.) and gave me some money to buy a new juicer because of the health benefits she has experienced from juicing. well, when K picked me up from the airport in january, we stopped by the Wal-Mart in Oakland to buy one... only they had just one kind and it didn't look like it would hold up. so, after some researching, i decided on the L'Equip. it has a very small footprint and works quite well. both K and i keep dreaming up new things to juice ("juice your vegetables, eat your fruits"). if the rain holds up, i may try to hit up the farmers' market near my neighborhood on saturday.

so far, i've tried PLAs (BEST apple juice EVER, and pink to boot!), satsumas and pink grapefruit (picked from my dad's orchard) and tomatoes (surprisingly good, especially paired with something sweet). if anyone knows of any good juice recipes, please send them my way. i really want to try pears, carrots, pineapple and melons and maybe even kiwis, grapes and cherries, but some of those i'd probably want to eat for the fiber. K wants to try Asian pear. any suggestions?

today after work, i have about a mountain of laundry to do and then if i have time some homework. for dinner, K and i are meeting up with Heather and her friends at Ana Mandara as they are in town on vacation in Napa... it should be a good time.

hope everyone has a great weekend!

phlegm springs eternal

2007-01-30T09:22:00.000-06:00

hi all! just thought i'd post while i'm here at work... i know it's been a while. i'm currently battling a nasty sinus infection, courtesy of my nephews in Texas.

spring classes began yesterday, and while i wasn't technically supposed to start until tomorrow evening, i went in anyway to get into a different, earlier section. i'm glad i did, because i was able to just barely squeeze into the class (it was closed for all intents and purposes) because my Packaging 2 instructor ("T") was teaching it! serendipity.

i just got back into the city last thursday after having been in Texas for a week. it was great to see all my family, especially my nephews. every day was spent shopping and just hanging out with everyone. aaron and andrew have gotten SO big and their vocabulary has grown by leaps and bounds. andrew no longer calls me "Auntie Sheeya" and corrects everyone with my real name. aaron is the textbook definition of a toddler, and has embraced the word "no." i especially enjoyed my visit with nicole, who taught me how to knit! my first few attempts were pretty bad, but i finally got the hang of it (in my perfectionist way to get it right), when i bought some pricey italian yarn at Tuesday Morning. i finally found my niche (knitche?) as a beginner knitter. i am currently at the end of my first scarf, but i need to figure out how to make it longer and how to finish it. i already have other types and colors of yarn lined up for my next project. needless (haha, that word has the word "needle" in it) to say, i'm hooked (haha, "hooked!" oh whoops, that's crochet-talk)! photos to follow.

on saturday, i got certified to administer CPR through work. apparently, gyms in california are now required to have their staff certified, since they have a higher risk of someone suffering cardiac arrest. also, apparently, they've changed the amount of compressions and breaths to make it easier to remember (30 and 2, respectively, for BOTH adults and kids 1-8). we practiced on CPR dummies and in my sick condition, it was hard work! trying to resuscitate someone while you're stuffed up and coughing isn't fun. luckily, we each had one-way valve masks to protect ourselves from germs. even still, i hope the woman i paired up with doesn't get sick from my airborne pestilence... she might as well have just stuck her tongue up my nose. ok, sorry that was gross.

anyway, i have another class on thursday, and i'm working in between. this friday, K is taking me to his company's let's-save-some-money-by-having-it-after-the-holiday event. it's a murder-mystery thingy at the Sir Francis Drake. we get to dress up and it should be fun!

here's to a great rest of the week...

to all my adoring fans

2007-01-16T09:24:00.000-06:00

...all three of you:

i'm still alive! just busy entertaining my penpal of TWENTY years, Philippa. (Heather, we miss you!) so far, we have:

+gotten beauty treatments
+shopped on 24th Street
+had high tea at Lovejoy's with K
+shopped downtown and at the new SF Centre
+flirted with Scott at the Apple Store (not me!)
+had dinner at Bissap Baobab with Melissa and K
+had lunch with K at Boudin at the Wharf
+had photo booth photos done at the Musee Mecanique
+seen and smelled the sea lions on Pier 39
+shopped at about a million GAPs
+been to the BeneFit store on Chestnut
+eaten at Johnny Rockets

today, we'll work out (i'm at work right now) and then lunch at Regent Thai... finish up Phils's shopping (and boosting of the U.S. economy). this evening, we may take in a movie.

hope everyone is having a great tuesday! i leave for Texas on thursday.

groundhog day (the bill murray kind) came early

2006-12-22T09:34:00.000-06:00

[note: i'm writing this post having had approximately 3.25 hours of sleep, at work (got here at 6 am), pre-coffee.]

well, this past week has been finals helldom, starting with one on monday and culminating with one yesterday. but i can't say that everything is Finally Over yet. the good news: both my Package Design 2 Projects made it into the Winter Show!!! (it's one night only, tonight, from 6-8:30) yipeeeeeeeee!

the bad news: read on...

the second/last project i had this semester was to build a recycled or sustainable birdhouse (an interesting choice for a packaging class, might i add). it was good to be away from the computer and be able to work with my hands, which is what i love to do.

for my company (to ground the project and give it credibility) i chose Apple Computer... and for my materials, i chose empty CD jewel cases. my marketing angle was a musical one: trade in your old CD cases for free iTunes, and Apple will build a birdhouse for the community.

well, this project has been ongoing for about 7 weeks or so... it's been one long rollercoaster ride riddled with tons of learning curves. after much back-and-forth with my design in class, i settled on a cube shape for my birdhouse and thought i could do most (if not all) of the construction myself. of course, that would be too easy.

all semester, my instructor "T" (who shall remain nameless, since i mentioned a teacher's name on here before and he would periodically google himself and find my blog), has sort of been steering us toward a service bureau here in town that provides modeling services. they do scale models of just about anything, from toys to buildings to signage to you name it, they probably can do it.

[aside: i'm sure i've mentioned how expensive art school is. moreover, the Packaging track of Graphic Design is arguably the most expensive branch of that. so... with this in mind, read on.]

well, for weeks now i've been laboring under the assumption that i could complete my project by myself for the least amount of money as possible. after all, i was able to get the main materials (CD jewel cases and a USB cord from a palm pilot charger) free (or very close to free) from SCRAP. well, that all changed about two weeks ago.

as my design took shape (a trio of three cube birdhouses strung on USB cable), it was apparent that i would have to have some help with the construction: drilling holes in the tops, bottoms and sides of the cubes, for the cable to run through, the perch to insert, and the bird to crawl through. this is something for which i sought help at the modeling company. (of all the tools i own, a drill is not one of them... especially not one with circular bits.) so, i sought out the help of "R" who runs the modeling company. i met with him two Fridays ago and he agreed to help me--free of charge.

however, with further suggestions in critique, it was apparent that i would have to have my birdhouse spray painted (either frosted or translucent colors) with the Apple logo masked out on the backs of the cubes. also, and i'm not sure where this idea came from, but i wanted to have an acrylic Apple "charm" hanging from the bottom of the houses. R also agreed to help me with this, as he has access to laser cutting.*

all fine and dandy. not really.

after much trial and error, i finally got the cubes wired together and ready to be painted by Tuesday. i thought that i'd get it sprayed three colors (pink, blue and green like the new iPod Nanos), attach my birds (ornaments from Cost Plus) and insert my nesting material and be done with it.

well... of course Murphy reared his head again, and i found out tuesday that i wouldn't be able to have the cubes painted until TODAY, and it was due YESTERDAY. no problem, i'm adaptable, there's always more that one solution... so i had R frost them a translucent/clear, and put colored paper i hand-shredded in them. i attached the birds in whimsical ways and hand-made a box very similar to the ones the new iPods come in, only made of cardboard. after that, i thought i was Finally Done.

but no.

pretty much when i got to my final class yesterday (to which K brought me; he specifically took yesterday off to help me transport everything), T told me that my birdhouse, which he wanted in the Winter Show, needed to be sprayed colors, i needed to shorten the length of the USB cord between each, my perches needed to be shorter, i needed to change out the nesting material, and he wanted birds that were "silkier."

in other words, my hell was Not Over.

so, after class yesterday, i had to call work to see if i could leave early, went to see R again so he could spray birdhouse AGAIN, and called about a million craft stores to find new birds. K was with me the whole time, shuttling us to and fro getting it all done.

so today, after i leave work, i will be going back up to Potrero Hill to collect my birdhouse and re-work it to T's specifications. i'm going to try one last-ditch effort to find different birds, and after assembling it all, i'm going to bring it to school to be hung for the show tonight.

and then, after K and i see the show, hopefully have dinner and buy groceries for our Christmas Eve dinner on Sunday, i will Finally Be Done.

the thing is, i LOVE what i do, and though it's going to get even harder and more expensive as the semesters roll on... i can't imagine doing anything else. hopefully, that old adage is still true: Do what you love, and the money will follow.

because right now, i'm definitely paying my dues.

***

anyway... if i don't get to post before Monday, i hope everyone has a lovely, safe and warm Christmas, hopefully spent with someone you love.

i know mine will be.

* R charged me $135 for the laser cutting... which was more than half of my last paycheck. he was also VERY condescending to me and treated me like crap... i am cringing at how much it will cost for the translucent color spraying.

1971—2006

2006-12-06T16:37:00.000-06:00

rest in peace, James Kim.

send good thoughts to the Kims

2006-12-05T11:21:00.000-06:00

i just recently heard about this story from K... but i didn't put the pieces together until this morning, when i saw the headlines on the SF Daily and the SF Chronicle.

i met the Kims back when i first moved here. i went into their shop to buy a present for Aileen for Aaron's birth. both Kati and James were superfriendly and nice, and i was surprised to know that Kati is from the same area as my hometown in Texas. i usually see them and their daughters around Noe Valley. they're such a cute family and i hope they all get reunited soon.

for updates and to send the Kims and their friends and family prayers, well wishes and good thoughts, click here.

Thanksgiving, T-Day and more

2006-11-29T21:20:00.000-06:00

i hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! i know i did...

Marisela and i cooked Thanksgiving lunch, continuing our tradition of not going home to Texas and staying here for the holiday. (who wants to travel during this time anyway?)

i asked to cook the turkey this year—something i’ve never done before. i wish i had photos of the (13-pound) bird, because it looked great and tasted even better. my recipe was simple: two bottles of italian dressing dumped into and rubbed onto the bird and a stick of butter cut into squares, shoved between the breast and the skin of the breast (and of course, salt and pepper). YUM! the resulting turkey browned beautifully and turned out to be very flavorful.

of course our feast wouldn’t have been complete without green bean casserole, marisela’s mom’s stuffing, my garlic mashed potatoes and corn casserole, and two kinds of rolls. i chose a very sweet riesling to accompany the meal, and for dessert we skipped the pie in favor of marisela’s ranger cookies.

in all, it was very successful and very filling. (especially for our freezer)

this year i was also honored to be apart of T-Day, which is something K has been celebrating in lieu of a traditional Thanksgiving for about the past 8 years with his two closest guy friends, Troy and Paul.

T-Day is typically a three-day event starting on Thanksgiving and ending on the Saturday after, which includes grilling meat, playing video games, talking about cars and guns, shooting guns at the range and cleaning them afterwards, and going for udon, ramen, sushi and ending on Saturday night with a decadent dinner at Morton’s in Union Square.

this year i was invited to be a part of the festivities, which included going to the range and shooting (something i’ve never done before), going to udon in Japantown and having dinner at Morton’s.

even though i was curious to go shooting, i was still a bit apprehensive, but the boys gave me a briefing on how to hold each gun, how to stand, and how to shoot them. they also briefed me on range etiquette and basic handgun safety. K set me up with some earplugs AND earmuffs, and Paul lent me a pair of safety glasses.

once we got to the range, i tried one shot out of a .38 revolver (i didn’t like the recoil) and did most of my shooting on a .22 1911 semi-automatic. check out my target (which is now hanging on my door):

apparently, i did a pretty good job for a first-timer. i also tried out a small rifle, but at 100 yards, i couldn’t get feedback on my target, so i just hung back and watched the guys shoot (much bigger, louder and scarier ones).

Saturday, i joined them for their goodbye dinner at Morton’s, where i had a delectable medium rare filet mignon, and shared with K a grilled asparagus with a balsamic reduction and their pomme frites. for dessert, K and i shared a creme brulee. soooooo yummy!

it’s almost Thursday (ie, a week later) and i’m STILL in holiday mode... *sigh* i have about 3 weeks left of classes! scary!

hope everyone is well and getting all of their Christmas shopping done in time.

i’m dreaming of a...

2006-11-19T02:07:00.000-06:00

pink Christmas!

since i’m not going home for Christmas this year, i thought i’d get in the holiday spirit and buy a little fake tree. so, friday after work, i headed over to Big Lots! because i had my eye on a 4' pre-lit lavender Christmas tree. i wanted to buy it since our living room has greens and browns and purples in it.

well, i went there, but i didn’t see any left except for the one on display. after asking two employees if there were any left (which there weren’t) and then asking one of them to ask if i could buy the display model, i was flatly denied. which, of course, made me want the tree even MORE!

so, i told K about it and he said we’d go back and double-team them at night to see if they’d sell me the tree. we found the display in the front of the store which had the same model of tree, but there were no lavender ones remaining. HOWEVER, they DID have some pink and gold ones. so, i did the next best thing and bought the pink one (which is like the one i wanted last year from Urban Outfitters).

i bought the pre-lit tree, 24 assorted glass ornaments and cute little beaded ornament hooks, snowflake garland and a star for the top all for about $30!

marisela said it looks like a cupcake, and well, i LOVE cupcakes! the tree skirt is actually a pink cable-knit poncho and i couldn’t resist putting some “gifts” under the tree to make the look complete:

my early, heartfelt and warmest wishes for a Happy Thanksgiving... and a VERY Happy Christmas!

longest day EVER!

2006-11-15T12:16:00.000-06:00

yesterday was one of the longest (yet most productive) days i’ve had in quite some time:

5:15 am woke up, got ready for work

5:45 am K picked me up and drove me to work

6:00 am opened the club

6:01 am—12 noon drank coffee, ate a PLA and a cookie, shopped on the web, talked to members

12:01 pm—12:30 pm ate lunch (pad se-eiew) across the street at Regent Thai ($7! including tax & tip)

12:40 pm hopped on the J towards downtown SF

12:50 pm got off at Market Street and walked towards Flax

1:05 pm got to Flax, shopped for a hot knife and different shades of kraft paper

1:40 pm walked back to the J and rode back towards work

2:00 pm got off and walked to Big Lots!

2:10 pm got to Big Lots! and bought a new duvet set, a throw blanket and pillow, and a set of 52 gel pens in a cool aluminum case

3:05 pm left Big Lots!, walked to the bus and finally headed home

3:30 pm home at last

3:30 pm—5:00 pm drank a Coke Zero, baked part of a batch of carrot cake cookies, ironed duvet set (it is a KING size and i have a FULL bed) and dressed my bed

5:00 pm tidied up flat

5:10 pm played with new gel pens

5:20 pm—5:40 pm iced cookies and talked to Marisela

5:40 pm—6:00 pm tidied up room, talked to Mike and waited for him to come over, set up sewing machine

6:15 pm—8:15 pm helped Mike turn curtain with rod loops into two

8:15 pm ate sushi and watched part of “Dead Like Me”

8:45 pm walked Mike out to his new Scion xB and looked inside

9:00 pm came inside, cleared my supplies, collapsed in my room, fell asleep shortly after 11:30

hopefully today will be just as productive, but not as jam-packed! i am going to work with the hot knife today, so hopefully i won’t burn myself!

apple: not just the name of a celebrity kid

2006-11-07T23:53:00.000-06:00

well folks, i dare say that it is my favorite time of the year: PINK LADY APPLE SEASON!!

just came back from the store with K and i picked up half a dozen of my favorite feminine fruit, and i had to have one right away. it was PERFECTION.

pink lady apples are the ONLY apples that i eat—i wait until they are in season and go crazy, eating them up until the season ends. i have been known to buy upwards of five pounds at the farmers’ market and eat pretty much all of them by myself. once i tried one about three years ago, i never bought another kind of apple again. they are simultaneously aromatically sweet and tart—the kind of apple that makes me want to eat the ENTIRE piece of fruit; stem, core, seeds and all. if faced with a piece of candy and a PLA, i’d choose the apple instead. and i eat a LOT of candy.

if you aren’t familiar with PLAs (as they are known on the street... in my head...), please do yourself and me a favor and buy some today! some characteristics to look for (besides the Pink Lady Apple sticker):

+gorgeous, deep pink color
+sweet, apple-y scent
+very firm to the touch (which translates to a firm bite)

happy apple picking!

milestones

2006-10-31T01:37:00.000-06:00

this past sunday marked six months with K!

we celebrated with dinner on thursday at The Blue Plate and tea at Lovejoy’s on saturday:

in honor of the event, K feted me with two custom t-shirts that he designed for me (photos to come later), and two out-of-print Graphis annuals from 1956/57 and 1957/58, rare cousins of an even rarer edition of the 1957 Packaging Annual of which my packaging teacher has a copy. Graphis is sort of like an annual encyclopedia of the best design in print, photography and advertising and is a great springboard for inspiration.

saturday night, we helped Marisela celebrate her 30th birthday at Carrie’s sweet Nob Hill apartment. we had tons of yummy food and drink and laughed while trying to guess the titles and artists of obscure 80s lyrics:

hope everyone has a spooky and fun Halloween!

walking with a purpose

2006-10-23T01:41:00.000-05:00

saturday morning, K and i walked 5 miles with his company’s team for the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk in Golden Gate Park.

since Breast Cancer has become such an important cause for my family, it was a no-brainer to participate in the walk in honor of Kathy. it was such a great sight to see so many people out, en masse, bright and early and walking together, whether they were survivors, spouses, friends, family... or even the family dog! the route went around Golden Gate Park, and we couldn’t have asked for better, more gorgeous weather.

here are some photos from the day:

at work, i created a Pink Ribbon tree, and am collecting donations from members—they buy a ribbon and donate $1, $5 or $10 and hang a ribbon with the name of a loved one.

if you are able, i urge you to donate to this worthy cause. chances are ONE in FIVE that someone you know has been—or will be—affected by this disease.

what about bob: before bob

2006-10-18T17:25:00.000-05:00

as requested, here is a before photo, pre-bob:

(it’s the only one i had that was recent (taken this july), so sorry if it’s too far away.)

what about bob

2006-10-17T23:21:00.000-05:00

as promised, photos of my new bob-alicious haircut:

sorry if i look constipated in some of them... it’s not easy taking photos of yourself.

TL= “Too Late”

2006-10-16T05:37:00.000-05:00

alas, the TL that K had been eyeing has been sold!

i’m very, very sad, but perhaps it wasn’t meant to be. apparently, TLs are only made four ways: automatic with and without navigation, and manual with and without navigation... manuals without navigation (how K prefers them) are pretty rare.

oh well. on the bright side, he’s actually going to test the Camry again (that should make you happy, Summer!) so, we’ll see what becomes of that drive. i might accompany him since it will be in the city. fingers crossed! he tested the Mazda Speed6 again yesterday and eliminated it because it was too difficult to drive, and finally admitted that he’s “not 22 anymore” and there may be some merit in having a car that is somewhat easy to drive and doesn’t require so much thought to drive.

K is also considering the 2007 G35, which has been completely redesigned. it may prove to be too expensive, though.

in other news, i got a haircut at Treat on friday and it is VERY short. it is a chin-length wedge bob, which means i got about 5 or so inches cut off. (the last haircut i got was on my birthday, six months ago!) i took a picture with my camera phone of the enormous pile of hair that was shorn from my head, so when i figure out how to send it to my e-mail (i’ve tried sending it about 5 times), i will post it. i might take and post photos of my new ’do in the meantime... so stay tuned.

in further news, i had dinner tonight (well, last night, since it is almost 4 am) with K and part of his family. his brother, Eric, and sister-in-law, Megan, came to Napa for their 1-year anniversary, and we met them in the city for dinner at Ana Mandara. also in attendance was K’s Uncle Gene, and Megan’s cousin, Erin.

i was a little nervous meeting all of them, but in the end it was fine. dinner was amazing, and it was good to finally meet K’s relatives and see the dynamics between them. luckily, i didn’t commit any major faux pas or make a fool of myself. coincidentally, they asked us how we met... and it turns out Eric and Megan met the same way we did! funny. i think K told me they got engaged at 6 months. K and i are about to hit that mark at the end of the month, but rest assured... there is no engagement planned here!

that’s all for now—i will be back with hair photos later. hope everyone has a great week...

TL: stands for “Totally Loveable” or “True Love”

2006-10-10T21:51:00.000-05:00

as far as i’m concerned, K’s search for a new car is over.

he took me on yet another test drive this saturday at the Subaru dealership in Redwood City (and almost made me pee my pants—more on that later) and then we popped by the Acura dealership where he tested an Acura TL last week.

the car he tested was a manual Subaru Legacy, which, though nice enough for the average person, was not unique by any means and needless to say, i was nonplussed. we were allowed to test it by ourselves, and the guy at the dealership (another nameless, shameless dude) told us the test route, which included part of the highway at the end. as K made the loop back to the dealership and exited onto the highway (to exit back at the dealership), he was going fairly fast and turned the wheel a bit too hard to overcompensate and to avoid a truck in the merging lane. i thought we were going to tip over! luckily, K is a good driver and got us back to the dealership in one piece.

after Subaru, we made our way over to the Acura dealership, which was about 5 minutes away. K wanted to show me the TL that, were he planning on buying one, would be the one he’d buy. it is Anthracite Grey, with black leather interior, has THREE miles on it (the tires still have the little nubs on them!), and contains everything he wants and nothing he doesn’t... it seems like a no-brainer to me. the service at this dealership is very good, too, and i think i may have given Joe, the salesperson, a whole bucket of hope when i said that the TL had moved to the top of my list (of the cars K is considering). and i only spent about 5 minutes looking at it! i knew it like i know about a good melon: it’s the one.

alas, it’s still not my choice to make... but a girl can hope to exert her influence whenever she can. ;) i really, REALLY love the TL, and K hasn’t heard the end of this yet...

patience (part 2 of 2)

2006-10-05T19:37:00.000-05:00

so if patience is a virtue, what is impatience?

yesterday afternoon around 5 pm or so, i was at my neighborhood market (kind of like a mini Whole Foods). when i went to pay for my things, there were two check-out lanes open, both with at least two or three people in them already. i chose the one that was closest to me and stood in line, just like everyone else. while in line, i overheard one of the clerks asking another why only two lanes were open.

i normally try not to buy more than i can carry, so i don’t get a handbasket for my items (though i end up carrying an armload of stuff). when i got to the check-out counter, i put my purchases on the conveyor belt and waited my turn as the third to be rung up.

out of the corner of my eye, i saw that another cashier was opening up the next lane to my left. hoping to maybe expedite my sale, i eyed my items and contemplated whether or not i should move over, since i was technically the next person in line. and of course, the cashier said (while looking directly at me), “I can take you over here.”

but, as i went to pick up my items (they were too many and bulky), the man behind me swooped in and took the open lane. i responded with a perturbed, “Or... not.” i just stood in my spot, a little miffed. meanwhile, my line did NOT seem to be moving, despite having put my things on the counter years before.

i looked over to my left and before i knew it, the man was gone, and the woman behind him asked me if i wanted to come over. and with that, my annoyance dissipated and i realized her kind gesture—she was trying to make up for the man who cut in front of me. i told her, “No, it’s okay. I’m already here.” plus, i wasn’t in any particular hurry anyway, since my house is only four blocks away. i figure if someone is aggressive and rude enough to cut in line, they must be in a hurry, and therefore too impatient to wait.

there is something to be said for waiting one’s turn. i worked for my parents off and on for several years—they own a medical practice where my dad is a GP—and let me tell you... they don’t call them “patients” for nothing.

patience (part 1 of 2)

2006-10-05T02:09:00.000-05:00

they say patience is a virtue. i think it’s one of those virtues that is developed over time, tested over and over, and more valued as we get older.

[note to male readers: this post is about shopping. for handbags. you can stop reading now.]

part one: for the past several weeks, i’ve been sort of salivating over this purse-shaped black piece of leather by kate spade at my local Marshall’s. though it’s marked as an “irregular” piece, it looked fine to me and was priced for less than HALF of retail (it was originally $325 in season).

the past couple of times i’ve been into Marshall’s, i’ve managed to make my way over to the handbag area to fondle this lovely piece. as i tend to have champagne tastes on a tapwater budget, i usually pass up things like these in favor of more affordable items, like the trendier, more throwaway plastic, vinyl or felt bags that sell for much, much less.

well, since i am coming into a little bit of green in exchange for designing a logo for a friend of a friend’s burgeoning new business, and since i’m working part-time again, i thought it would be a nice reward to get this bag.

i discussed it thoroughly with K last night (already a rapt listener as he has quite expensive tastes), and we decided that i’d go and get it. since i don’t have my green quite yet, i was determined to find it and put it on layaway until i got paid.

[aside: layaway KICKS ASS! why didn’t i think of it before? hold now, pay later! GENIUS!]

since i had to return some books at the school library and run some errands this morning, K was kind enough to pick me up before work so i could get downtown faster. in order to delay gratification, i stopped at Utrecht for another pad of tracing paper. then i stopped into Starbucks for some joe and breakfast. i also stopped into Office Depot for some business cards. finally, i headed over to Market and Fifth Streets to the mecca of “off-price” retail.

well, when i got there at 9:45, the doors were still locked. thinking that they opened at 9:30 am, i waited the extra 15 minutes until the manager opened the doors and let us (a growing group of semi-impatient women) into the store.

as i stepped off the escalator, i headed to the handbag department, which was straight ahead. since this particular Marshall’s organizes its handbags by color, i made a beeline for the black ones. i went through each hook, searching through 3, 4, 5 bags deep for my prize. i must have circled the black bags at least three times, and didn’t see it. i was beginning to get worried, so i started to fan out into the other colors. i was distracted by some other kate spades, but they weren’t what i was there for. i thought for certain someone had bought it already, and i was out of luck.

after a while, i decided to make the rounds in the black section again, this time, paying closer attention to the ones at eye level. all of a sudden, i spotted it. its cylindrical shape was unmistakable and i felt like i’d just won the lottery. i inspected it for several minutes, tried it on, and finally headed over to the layaway department to stake my claim on it.

in 30 days (or whenever i fork over the cash), it’ll be mine and i’ll wear it like it’s going out of style. but i’m going to have to wait just a little while longer for it.

part two: waiting—and being cut in front of—in line at the grocery store.

more good stuff with a funny name

2006-10-03T19:38:00.000-05:00

well, i went to Walgreen’s today... but didn’t spot any Chicken Poop. alas, i will just have to order it online.

another product i’ve been meaning to spread the word about is Beard Papa’s Fresh ’N’ Natural Cream Puffs. (weird name, but something might’ve been lost in translation because it’s Japanese.)

marisela had mentioned this place to me before, but it wasn’t until the first day of school that i sampled their sweets. i was lured in by the aroma of fresh-baked pastries and i spotted two men walking away with a bright yellow box. (see below).

so, if you’re in San Francisco (or any of their other locations in CA, HI MA, NY, or NJ), and craving something sweet, look no further than this place. they make all natural cream puffs and eclairs, with luscious fillings such as Vanilla Bean, Chocolate, Caramel, Green Tea, Pumpkin, Milk Tea and Strawberry. mmmmm. some are even dipped in chocolate for extra chocolatey goodness.

i think if you order 6 or more, they come in a darling little box like this one, much like the ones Munchkins (from Dunkin Donuts) arrive in when they are born:

i may just have to order a half dozen or so... just for the box... you know, since i’m studying package design and all... it’d be strictly for research, of course. the Japanese sure know their packaging!

mmmm... chicken poop!

2006-10-01T16:40:00.000-05:00

while searching for face washes on drugstore.com the other day, i stumbled upon this in the lip balm section:

as a sucker for new products (especially cheap, trendy (read: low-commitment), and functional items like lip balm), i am going to order some because it’s gotten good reviews AND it has a quirky story behind it.

for even more laughs, check out their website here... click on “boutique” and scroll down to “chicken display.” i’m gettin’ one of those too, and bringing it to my packaging class.

hilarious!

what a waste

2006-09-29T00:24:00.001-05:00

the other day i got a check in the mail. but before you start ordering drinks all around, you should know it’s only for $1.71.

supposedly, there was some sort of settlement in a class-action suit against my credit card company, and i was sent my portion. needless to say, i don't even think it was worth the paper it was printed on. but, for a laugh, i'm going to put it in the bank anyway the next time i make a deposit (or before march 22, 2007, whichever comes first).

so tell me, what can $1.71 buy these days? the person with the most creative suggestion will get it.

because that's how generous i'm feeling with my newfound wealth.

weekend recap, continued

2006-09-25T23:58:00.000-05:00

Marin Acura test drive, cont’d...

so K and i hopped in the Acura TL with Robert, the younger sales lackey that was sent to escort us around Marin.

K has very specific driving conditions and terrain that he always requests when going on test drives: ie, bad pavement or construction areas and heavily trafficked, non-freeway roads. in other words, his daily commute. he directed these requests to Robert and we set off on our drive.

we drove on a couple of roads and ended up going on a hilly, twisty road. we weren’t gone but maybe ten minutes when Robert noticed we were about to run out of gas, so we had to turn around. needless to say, our drive was cut short and was very unsatisfying.

when we returned to the dealership, we waited for Robert to talk to our original sales guy (i can’t for the life of me remember his name), who seemed to be closing a deal. after several minutes of waiting (we had another appointment at Marin Infiniti), he came out to us to ask us how it went and if we were ready to buy! K pointed out that the drive was very short, and we had to turn around and come back. he also said that we were on our way to drive another car, but this seemed to be lost on the salesguy. as if to appease us and make up for 1) sending someone else to do his job and 2) a crappy testdrive, he told us to come back after we were done at the other dealership to take another drive! um... right. we politely declined.

after that lovely experience, we made our way over to Marin Infiniti. K had actually made an appointment beforehand, so we hoped that our experience would be better. when we got there, we saw that the G35 he’d hoped to test was sitting out front waiting for us. that seemed like a good sign. we met Andrew, K’s contact at the dealership, and waited for him to take us on our drive.

two magazines and about 45 minutes later... K finally drove the G35 and that experience was wholly unsatisfying as well. not only did Andrew leave in the middle of his sale, but he didn’t want to “stray too far from the dealership” because he had another appointment after us. hmmm... isn’t that why you make appointments in the first place? to secure time with someone? i was nonplussed, not only by the car, but by the service. is it just me, or is it too much to ask for a modicum of attention, especially from a place that specializes in higher-end vehicles?

we left feeling as if we’d just wasted the whole afternoon, and to throw salt in the wound, we almost got hit again as we drove back into the city. (a common occurrence in the baby shark—it’s little, low and black—not very conspicuous to oblivious SF drivers.) when we got back home, we ordered in Chinese to dull the pain of the day away.

anyway... K is still “car dating,” and looking for The One. i’ll keep you posted if there are any new developments. i told him that i really didn’t want to die (ie, get into an accident) in his car. what separates us from being rear-ended is a bumper, and less than three feet of space in his hatchback. and quite frankly, that worries me.

K is looking for a car in about the $22–24K to $28–30K range. i think he’ll go as high as $33–34K (after negotiation from a higher price). his priorities are safety, reliability and speed/power. he doesn’t much care for bells and whistles like navigation, satellite radio, or even leather seats! (but if they are, they have to be heated). oh, and it has to be able to fit in his parking space in the garage beneath his apartment (sorry Karen, the FJ probably won’t fit, and it probably won’t “fit” his lifestyle, either.) so, if anyone has any suggestions, i’d appreciate them.

tomorrow: my first day back at my old job. yay!

*i was not present during these drives.

weekend recap

2006-09-25T02:26:00.000-05:00

just got back from the Snow Patrol concert with K at the Warfield and dinner at Mel’s Drive-In afterward.

i am only a recent fan of SP, but i’d highly recommend their music to anyone. much of it is in various films and very singable... i find myself humming or singing snippets of songs all day long.

yesterday was a long day—one of those days that makes you realize you should have stayed home.

since thursday, i’ve been in contact with Bonnie, the new owner of the Curves i used to work at... apparently, she is looking to increase staff, and i came highly recommended. (i had actually e-mailed my old boss about a month ago to try to get my job back, but she never wrote me back.) i stopped by the club yesterday morning, and after talking to Bonnie for almost an hour, got my job back! i’ll be making the same amount as when i left, plus bonuses for signing up new members.

from what i gather, Bonnie isn’t too happy with the current management, so she is sort of grooming others (myself included, it would seem) to take over those duties and make some positive changes... we’ll see what pans out. the club is down to about 150 members (when i first started in 2004, there were almost 500), so we’ll definitely be marketing the club heavily in the coming months.

after visiting Curves, K took me to the post office and then to Starbucks for coffee and a breakfast snack. then we drove up towards Marin so K could test drive a couple of cars. (for those of you not up to speed, K is looking to replace the baby shark with something bigger and a bit safer. so far he’s tested: the Chevy Trailblazer SS, the Toyota Camry, the Infiniti G35, the VW Passat, the Dodge Charger*, the Mercedes-Benz SL 360 (?), the Volvo S60 R, and the Mazda Speed6*.)

as we were crossing the Golden Gate Bridge towards Marin, we very nearly had a rear-end collision... there was a black plastic planter or trashcan on the bridge that another car had swerved to avoid, and K basically came to a complete stop to avoid it also. (his reason was that if we had hit it, it would have ricocheted off the front and smashed through our windshield).

immediately after we stopped, all the other cars behind us followed suit and braked REALLY hard. i clutched onto my seatbelt in fear and anticipation of being rear-ended, but fortunately, everyone stopped in time to NOT cause a chain reaction. i was so glad to make it to Marin Acura in one piece.

however, when we got there and were finally able to take the car (TL) out for a spin, we had a very unsatisfying drive. first of all, the sales guy helping us was just going to let us take the car without him in it, and tried to have K sign a waiver to take it off the lot. it seemed fishy, and K was reluctant to sign the paper. i finally asked the sales guy why he wasn’t coming with us, and he relented and told us to wait for him. it seemed he was actually busy with other clients when we first arrived, so when he came back out, he had a younger associate with him to take us on the drive....

(to be continued... i am soooo sleepy!)

are you there, readers? it’s me, sheila.

2006-09-19T21:08:00.000-05:00

yes, i’m still alive.

classes are back in full swing (i’m taking Pkg 2 and re-taking GD 1), so i’ve been busy with researching new projects and concepts.

in my packaging class, we are working on the packaging for a line of paints (exterior and interior, in spray, quart and gallon sizes). i’ve chosen IKEA as my “private label” brand, while others chose more mainstream ones like Benjamin Moore, or other, smaller, lesser-known labels. it’s going to be quite a challenge, but i can foresee it being very rewarding as well. my research has already included field trips to The Home Depot, ACE Hardware, Cost Plus World Market, and of course, IKEA. (yay for boyfriends with cars!!)

in my GD 1 class, we are working on the US Stamp project. as some of you know, i have to take the class over... last semester was pretty rough and my attendance (tardies) really hurt my grade. so, i have the opportunity for a second chance. i originally chose the Eameses for the project the first time around, but this time, i am branching out into other areas that might look cool on a stamp. some contending concepts this time around: Fiestaware and the theme of Love, in different languages.

since i’m only taking two classes this semester, i’m also looking for some part-time work, just for extra spending cash... i just applied at Papyrus, so we’ll see if i get a call.

other things of note: i took in a baseball game at McAfee Coliseum in Oakland on Sunday with Jim... he had an extra ticket to see the White Sox play the A’s... unfortunately, they lost 5-4, but it was nice to be out in the fresh air eating really good, bad for you food (fish & chips!):

hope everyone has a great rest of the week....

back to school: a quick post

2006-09-07T11:48:00.000-05:00

it’s that time again!

today i start my fall classes and i must say that i’m glad to be getting back to a routine.

i’ll post more later when i get back this afternoon.

pre-bedtime venting... and an homage

2006-09-06T03:46:00.000-05:00

hello dear readers! i’m back. i’ve been gone too too long.

it’s late, and i was all set to write about the trip to Delaware and my subsequent return to the city... but i thought i’d post a little something about exes.

as in, ex-boyfriends.

i just had an online conversation with my ex, “A”. he recently added me to his messenger list and i only accepted out of curiosity—something which K knew about and even remarked, “do you really want to keep in touch with someone who unceremoniously dumped you?”

i should have listened to K. the conversation with A was awful and ended badly. it only reminded me of and confirmed why he broke up with me (it was all him, not me) and why we probably wouldn’t have lasted much longer than we did.

on the same token, however, it also reminded me of what i have now: a boyfriend who is kind, funny, caring, intelligent, generous, mature, strange, creative, silly, practical, helpful, sweet, thoughtful, supportive and totally devoted to me.

i couldn’t ask for more, and i couldn’t be happier.

just a quick post...

2006-08-22T21:46:00.000-05:00

to say that we are back in illinois!

we got back this morning at around 8 am, and much of my day was spent asleep.

i'll post details of the trip when i'm feeling better; i am cutting one of my wisdom teeth and it is giving me the worst headache ever.

it's going to have to come out soon, i think.

road trip!

2006-08-18T14:26:00.000-05:00

i've extended my stay here in the chicagoland area because carl, kathy, the dogs and i are taking a road trip... to Delaware!!

kathy's brother, JM, is a merchant marine, and will be coming into port in Wilmington this afternoon. since kathy hasn't seen her brother since leaving the Philippines eleven years ago, she thought it only right to go see him. my uncle and cousins live in nearby new jersey and pennsylvania, so we will probably be seeing them as well.

the trip will take about 14 hours or so, and we'll be leaving Illinois in a few hours. i will try to take lots of photos along the way, if i see anything of note.

(even if it's only of the tax-free malls in Delaware. yay shopping!)

where can i rent a flatbed truck?

2006-08-15T01:30:00.001-05:00

because K will be needing one when he picks me up from the airport next week.

it's no secret that i like food. especially good (but ultimately, bad-for-you) food. since i've been here in illinois, it seems like all i've done is eat, in between watching tv, sleeping, petting dogs, giving haircuts and availing myself when needed (ie, driving, doing laundry, cleaning, etc).

a list of the places i've eaten at (or had food from):

+buca di beppo
+burger king
+white castle
+portillo's hot dogs
+chipotle
+el famous burrito
+mcdonald's
+culver's
+giordano's
+dairy queen
+j alexander's

i'm sure i'm leaving something else out, like the apple haus and popcorn shop in long grove that we went to yesterday... hmmm...

maybe i'll fast when i get back to SF. for, like, the rest of the year.

grabbing the bull: update

2006-08-11T14:41:00.000-05:00

our first haircut was a bit piss-poorly done.

today, kathy decided to shave the rest of her hair off. (we had only given her a buzz cut.) she had taken a shower earlier and the little hairs were falling out, and kind of freaking her out... so she decided to shave it smooth. i could see that she had been emotional about it; as if the first time wasn't traumatic enough.

there weren't any good, sharp, multi-bladed razors in the house, so carl went to the store for some and some shave gel. while he was gone, kathy laid a bedsheet down on the bathroom floor where her first haircut had been. finally, carl came back with a venus battery-operated razor for women (the buzzing supposedly helps to get a closer shave) and some women's shave gel and we set to work on her hair.

this haircut was a bit easier than the first one, because we had less hair to deal with, but i can only imagine what she was thinking when kathy started crying again. i tried not to cry as we were shaving her (carl with one of his men's multi-bladed razors); i tried to think of it as a task that would make her life easier and hopefully more comfortable.

kathy has complained in the past about how she wants fuller, more voluminous hair. ever since i've known her, she always has some new product around the house that promises volume and fullness. as we were shaving her, she seemed optimistic when she quipped, "maybe it will grow back thicker."

i hope it does.

grabbing the bull by the horns

2006-08-06T14:34:00.000-05:00

sometimes you just have to take charge and face challenges head on.

this morning, carl woke me up and told me kathy was ready to have her head shaved. it was already starting to fall out the past couple of days due to her chemo, and she didn’t want to see it fall out in clumps. so last night, after dinner, she bought a hair clipper at Target.

i went downstairs, still half-asleep and i thought i was going to just assist carl as he shaved his wife’s head... but it turns out that i was the one who had to perform the haircut. at first i protested, uncertain about the emotional toll it would take on all of us, but then i decided that it was what kathy wanted... so i took up the clipper and set to work.

the three of us went into their master bathroom and kathy sat in a folding chair in the middle of the room in front of their mirror, with a towel wrapped around her shoulders. her hair was gathered on the top of her head in a ponytail holder, and she just told me to do it. her hair is already fairly fine, but the first few passes were still a bit of a challenge as the clippers soon clogged with hair. i was afraid of hurting her, and after a while, carl took over... soon kathy (as i imagine any woman) started crying at the sight of her hair being shorn. as soon as i saw her wiping away her tears, i started crying too... i think carl was crying as he continued with most of her haircut. i finished the back and sides as carl went to fetch a broom and dustpan.

after we were done, we cleaned up and then i went upstairs to take a shower before we all went to church. when i came back down, i found kathy lying on her bed, freshly showered and dressed. she said she was feeling queasy... but she speculated it was from the sound of the shaver. she contemplated not coming to church, but she got up anyway and put on her short wig. even though it’s synthetic, it looks pretty convincing, especially since it is cut nicely and has highlights—both attributes of what kathy’s hair would normally look like.

we drove to church and kathy was worried that the wig looked fakey, but i reassured her that it looked more natural than a woman’s we had seen at the chemo clinic on friday. at church, the message today was about finding God in everything and at one point the pastor talked about how many strands of hair we go through in our life. kind of weird considering what we’d just done not an hour before.

culturally and psychologically, we assign so much symbolism and power to our hair—one of the first attributes other people see when they look at us. for women, it is such a symbol of femininity, beauty, glamour, vanity... i once read that men are attracted to women who have long, shiny hair because it subconsciously implies health, vitality and even being a good mate: “if she can take care of her hair, she obviously takes care of herself, and ultimately take care of me.”

in the grand scheme of things, it is just hair, and it will grow back. what’s more important is kathy’s health and well being. her decision to shave it all off before it had a chance to all fall out speaks to her courage and conviction, and the fact that she’s not going to let cancer overtake her.

on the road again...

2006-08-04T15:33:00.000-05:00

yes, that's right, folks, i've left the city once again.

i'm writing this post from my brother and sister-in-law's house in the lovely Bolingbrook, Illinois, a suburb outside of Chicago. for the next three weeks, i will be staying with them.

kathy, my sister-in-law, was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, has had two surgeries so far, and is currently undergoing chemotherapy. i have come to support her and my brother, carl (who is in medical school), and to help out with household chores and the details of quotidian life.

i got in yesterday evening and they took me to dinner at their local Buca di Beppo. i haven't seen either of them since Christmas, so it was good to catch up.

this morning, we all got up to make kathy's chemo appointment. she met with her doctor briefly to discuss her current state of being and to find out the results of a biopsy she had done on wednesday. after carl left, i stayed behind with kathy while she had her treatment. it being her second round, she was given a new set of anti-nausea/vomiting medications since the first round made her ill for several days after. we're keeping our fingers crossed that the medication will prevent the nausea.

after her treatment, we stopped off at White Castle for some of their signature Slyders and crinkle-cut fries. i washed mine down with Grape Fanta (sounds gross, but it was soooooooo good). i've eaten their food before, but i'd never been inside of one... i just wanted to go inside because it seemed like one of those fast-food institutions i needed to see for myself, like Krispy Kreme.

while we had lunch, we watched "Benchwarmers," one of those underdog-type movies that stars a bunch of SNL alumni and Jon Heder, of "Napoleon Dynamite" fame. Nick Swardson, a comedian i've seen live, was also in the film (and he also co-wrote and produced it). kathy also got a call from the clinic saying her biopsy was negative for cancer. we were all so relieved.

as i type this on carl's computer, he is fiddling around with mp3s and other things on my mac. i was toying with the idea of having a nap since i'm still a tiny bit jetlagged and tired from my trip yesterday...

but now i'm craving ice cream. hmmmmm... tricky.

creeped out #2

2006-07-27T18:42:00.000-05:00

in case it hasn’t been completely clear in my posts, i have a boyfriend and his name is kevin, or K for short.

the reason i am pointing this out is because of the comment i received below (which was sent to my e-mail inbox because it was left on a post from months ago):

Hello
Am Barry by name, i saw your profile and i was very interested in meeting you, so you can email me at [deleted]@yahoo.com so as to discuss better.
Soonest to hear from you.
Barry.

i am pretty sure it’s not spam because i turned on word verification since the last time i was hit with a barrage of unwanted comments. (though i am a bit concerned about the improper usage of the word “soonest.”)

whatever the case may be, for the record, i am SPOKEN FOR, and remain as such indefinitely.

thanks and have a great day.

greedy groupie: update #2

2006-07-25T17:26:00.000-05:00

last night, K took me to see Alexi Murdoch on the final stop of his tour for his new album, “time without consequence.”

i wasn’t able to take any good photos of Alexi during the show, due to low lighting (i didn’t want to take flash photography), and he didn’t stick around afterwards for photos or autographs. (which was probably for the best, because i had printed out photos for him to sign, but the photo paper i used was crap and the photos bled.)

however, i was able to snag this flier from the ladies’ room:

he didn’t play my favorite song from the album, “wait,” but i was okay with it because he played it last month at Stubb’s. he did, however, play “love you more” (heather, i would have called you, but it was midnight your time!!) and “blue mind,” K’s favorite.

the cover singer was Meric Long, another musician whom i wouldn’t mind seeing again as his music was pensive and heartbreakingly heartfelt (is that redundant?). in all, it was a great concert in a really beautiful venue, and Alexi said he’ll most likely be back in september... fingers crossed!

everybody’s working for the weekend...

2006-07-24T02:56:00.000-05:00

except for maybe me... anyway, what i did this weekend:

friday night

had dinner with K at Liberty Cafe, then watched the new episode of Survivorman on the Discovery Channel. if you haven’t seen this show, you need to watch it! it’s pretty riveting. from discovery.com:

No food, no shelter, no fresh water — one man alone in the wild for seven days with only his wits and stamina to sustain him. Each episode of Survivorman finds survival expert Les Stroud abandoned in a remote location with little more than the clothes on his back — and his cameras.

saturday morning

helped K and others move his friends, Jeremy and Elizabeth, out of their flat in the Castro. Jeremy was a coworker of K and he and Elizabeth are on their way to Chicago to live, work and be closer to relatives.

saturday afternoon

for helping his friends move, K treated himself and me to spa pedicures at Silk.
it was his first time to have one, and it was delightfully amusing seeing him have his feet and legs pampered. i never realized it before he pointed it out, but my feet were tingling after the pedi! it was quite a treat.

saturday evening

we ate at Max’s Opera Cafe again, where we both had the BLT and Sprites. shockingly, i am learning to eat raw tomatoes (in small doses), and by and large, i believe this sandwich has been instrumental in my raw tomato consumption. (bacon makes EVERYTHING taste better. even raw tomatoes.)

sunday afternoon

had lunch with Marisela here at the flat (yummy arroz con pollo) and baked banana nut muffins (while talking to Philippa on the phone! hi Phils!). K picked me up at around 3:30 and we drove to San Pablo to eat at La Strada, where his friend’s sister works. they are celebrating 10 years of being in business. i had the chicken marsala, and it was some of the best i have ever had.

monday night (tonight)

my other concert (this time with K) to see Alexi Murdoch. so excited!

cruise photos

2006-07-21T12:22:00.000-05:00

as promised, some photos from my cruise to Cozumel... click here.

sew bored... again.

2006-07-19T13:58:00.000-05:00

as promised, here are pictures of knock-off Loaf 2 (as of yet unnamed) and the Brooks Brothers shirt from which it was born:

she’s not as cute as Zerbert, but i still like her. i put a couple of Bounce sheets inside her so she would smell good.

any suggestions for names?

sew bored

2006-07-19T02:34:00.000-05:00

it turns out that not having a job and not taking classes this summer, while great for my mental health, is also great for revisiting hobbies that i’ve long ignored.

like sewing.

in the back of my newest issue of ReadyMade magazine, there is an advertisement for the amorphous stuffed toys (Blobbies) found here. as K was flipping through it the other day, he came across the ad and became enamored with one of them, but since they are one of a kind, i told him i could probably make one for him (of the “Loaf” variety).

i have three full bags of old clothes that are too big on me that have been sitting in storage here at the flat for almost two years. i rooted around in them and found a pair of old, black velour Gap jogging/cargo pants, and some red velvet pants from Old Navy that i never wore because they were too long. monday, i decided these garments would become Blobbies.

i first hemmed the red pants, a) so i could have a little bit of red material for the Blobby knock-off’s mouth, and b) so i could wear the pants. i then cut apart the black pants for materials for the body. then, i made a pattern for the body and cut each the front and back pieces out. i then sewed my label (yes, i have a label) and the ribbons on it, followed by the mouth, and then i used an eyelet punch to attach the eyes (eyelet eyes). then, i sewed the Blobby up, leaving space to fill it with polyester batting (that i repurposed from some not-so-old but really cheap, flat pillows). after i was done, i hand-sewed the opening and this is what resulted: (click on any photo to enlarge)

his name is Zerbert.

[next post: photos of the fuschia velour shirt and the Blobby that it became...]

barf-free zone

2006-07-14T02:52:00.000-05:00

just got back from the cat club for girls/80s night with marisela, angel and tobey and i’m ecstatic to say that i did not get vomited upon this time.

hooray!

sick of being sick

2006-07-05T23:28:00.000-05:00

i really should be studied in a lab or a teaching hospital somewhere. i’m always getting sick.

since about last friday, i’ve been afflicted with a really nasty ear infection in my left ear. (hence the lag in posting and all-around lack of communication with everyone.) it was a result of swimming (with no ear plugs) on the cruise and a horrendous day of traveling/flying last week when i came back to the city (i got in at 3:30 am last wednesday morning).

this past weekend was sheer hell. the swelling, overall and searing pain got so unbelievably unbearable that it left me in tears many times. my equilibrium was shot, i was achy all over (throat, neck, shoulders and even my hands!), ran several fevers and was mainlining a cocktail of levaquin (anitibiotics), ultram ER (a painkiller) and tylenol (every four hours). every eight hours i had to put drops in my ear and almost every hour i had a hot compress pressed to my ear.

and the nightmare is not over. i still can’t hear completely out of my left ear, my throat is still sore and now my RIGHT ear is starting to hurt and swell.

about three years ago, i had SIMULTANEOUS ear infections—that’s right, both ears at the same time, except i don’t remember them hurting as bad as just my one ear did. (i WAS jacked up on painkillers, though.) i remember subsisting on a diet solely of sonic banana cream pie shakes... mmmm. i lived at home at the time and remember drifting in and out of lucidity only enough to wake up and take my next round of meds.

this time around, i have been so fortunate to have K as my male nurse. he definitely wins the Best Boyfriend Award for 2006. he stayed with me during the worst first two days, brought me KFC mashed potatoes, jell-o and vitamin water, bought me a thermometer and more tylenol, made me ice packs for my fevers and hot compresses to dull the pain. he even thought of putting cold, wet paper towels on my feet and stomach to bring down my fever at one point. i even wanted to go to the ER on saturday night, but we decided i probably would have waited for hours just to be seen. (he would have brought me though, if i insisted.) when i wasn’t nauseated by the pain, i could hardly open my mouth to eat, so he spoon-fed me jell-o and rice pudding. he also broke saltines into tiny, bite-sized pieces so i could eat them.

and if taking care of me wasn’t enough, he even did our dishes (not all of them were mine), scrubbed down our kitchen (again, not all the mess was mine) and took out our trash (do you see a pattern, and did i mention that marisela is out of town?)...

i’ve been out of the house many times since the weekend (sunday night, he took me to Max’s Opera Cafe for dinner; monday, we drove into emeryville/berkeley to pick up my scanner and have lunch at Scharffen Berger (best paninis EVER), yesterday, we saw the supercute movie “Cars,” shopped at Ross and Border’s and tonight we had a really yummy pizza at Amici’s on Union Street).

but i think now my body is telling me i need to slow down and make a full recovery. that said, i am going to bed early and will most likely sleep for most of the day tomorrow.

back on dry land!

2006-06-26T20:26:00.000-05:00

so i’m back from my cruise.

i went with my parents and my brother, gary. in a nutshell, it was basically four days of nonstop eating, on a boat, with a short stop in cozumel.

photos to follow.

tomorrow night, i head back to the city by the bay.

all in the family

2006-06-21T16:00:00.000-05:00

photos from saturday’s anniversary/birthday/fathers’ day party...

this will be my last post for the next few days or so as we set sail on our cruise tomorrow. i will have internet access aboard the ship, but i’ll most likely be using it for e-mail only (unless i get bored and need to post something while sailing). we get back into port on the 26th, and i fly into to SF late on the 27th.

greedy groupie: update

2006-06-17T11:23:00.000-05:00

well, i’m back in pearland and happy to report i had a fantastic time with heather and at the concert.

i got into georgetown around lunchtime and met heather at Wildfire for lunch. i had a lovely meal of flash fired honey-fried chicken, mashed potatoes and sautéed vegetables. i rounded it off with a Dr. Pepper with lemon (a drink i usually only order in Texas, where the DP flows freely). the best part of the meal? it was only $6!!! unheard of in SF.

after lunch, we strolled around the square so i could reminisce and look into all the little shops. the courthouse in the middle of the square was being renovated and was obscured by scaffolding, and i was saddened to find that many of the cute shops had closed down. with all of the new shopping centers popping up along I-35, much of the local business has died. it was really disheartening. i hope someday new business will breathe life into the square and it will be bustling again.

after that, we headed back to her house so i could see it for the first time and so we could hang out a bit with the dogs. after a while, we headed over to cold stone creamery so i could meet her boyfriend, mark, and his kids. they were in town and were going swimming afterwards. we chatted for a bit and had some damn good ice cream.

we went back to her house so we could both take naps (i was exhausted from driving three hours on only four hours of sleep and she was getting sick). finally we got up, dressed, and headed downtown for dinner, where we ate at Cuba Libre. i had the best cuban sandwich, which looked like this before i ate it:

it tasted even better than it looks.

when we were done eating, we decided to walk to Stubb’s, especially since we’d just eaten such a big meal. it was still pretty warm outside, but at least the sun was going down. we had to stop at CVS so heather could get some Airborne and eye drops because she was definitely getting sick. it sucked for her because she was shooting a wedding the next day.

we got to red river & 8th, but the doors weren’t open yet, so we headed over to Club De Ville for drinks. it was pretty much empty (it was only about 8:30), so we got some amaretto sours and walked over to a banquette to sit. it was also VERY dark in the bar, and the banquettes were black. that didn’t make for a very good combination, because i went to sit down and realized there was nothing there! my ass and the floor quickly made friends... heather and i laughed about that for a good five minutes.

we finally strolled back over to Stubb’s and waited in line (which was nonexistent only half an hour earlier) at the door. about 15 minutes later, we (by then, very hot and sweaty despite it being after 9 pm) made it inside and made our way downstairs to the stage.

the first act was Lee Simmons, another singer/songwriter, but i wasn’t that interested in his music. he played for about 45 minutes, and then there was a brief intermission. finally, Alexi Murdoch took the stage and from beginning to end, i was totally in awe. he is so modest and unassuming... very humble yet completely entertaining and mesmerizing at the same time. he played most of the new album and i held my cell up during a few songs so K could listen too.

afterwards, there was a meet & greet, where i got Alexi to sign my CD and a t-shirt i bought for K. i was such a dork and the only thing (besides idle chitchat about his tour) was, “i love your music.” i know, i know. if i’m going to be a groupie, i should probably find something more profound to say.

at any rate, here are some photos from the concert, and one of heather and me at dinner (see top). tonight, we’re having a family dinner at the Monument Inn for my parents’ 40th anniversary, my mom’s 65th birthday, and fathers’ day. it should be fun.

i’m a greedy groupie

2006-06-14T21:21:00.000-05:00

apparently, according to my cousin nicole, i qualify as a groupie:

n. Slang

1. A fan, especially a young woman, who follows a rock group around on tours.
2. An enthusiastic supporter or follower: a ballet groupie; a fashion groupie.

and (according to my brother gary) i am a greedy one at that, as i am driving to Austin tomorrow to see Alexi Murdoch in concert tomorrow at Stubb’s, with my friend heather (see link at left entitled “a great photographer and friend”). plus, K bought tickets for us to see him again, at the end of his tour, at the Great American Music Hall in SF next month.

i saw Alexi in concert with marisela last year for the first time during the NoisePop music festival in SF (see photo above), and have been enamored with him and his 4-song EP, “Four Songs” ever since. well, on 6/6, “time without consequence,” his new album, came out, and K ran around SF looking for a copy for me, which he sent to me here in Texas. if you have not heard any of his music, you can hear three songs from his new album here.

i think his music is sublime and transcendent, and too good to keep to myself. and any chance i get to be in the presence of someone that talented and great, i’m going to take it.

even if if makes me a greedy groupie.

please feed the animals

2006-06-11T23:05:00.000-05:00

yesterday was my nephew andrew’s 3rd birthday party, which was held at the Bayou Wildlife Park in Dickinson.

in theory, the party would have been a Really Great Idea, but conditions for such were not in its favor. factors working against it:

+Texas in June.
+mosquito season in Texas in June.
+covered picnic pavillion was not three feet away from a goat pen, and well, their own lovely “gifts” scattered on the ground.
+more flies than you can imagine.

i’m thinking that if the park could just enclose their picnic area, everything else would fall into place and be less miserable. i must, however, give credit to my sister for thinking of hand sanitizer, battery-operated handheld fans and lots of iced water and drinks (even though lots were wasted by the guests and we ran out).

despite everything, i think andrew had a pretty good time, which is the most important thing. i’ve posted some photos of the animals and interesting signage below... the one with the crazed emu i took just moments after i screamed. it scared the bejesus out of me when it started pecking in my food bucket inside the tram. little fucker. (pardon my french)

anyway, i hope everyone has a great week—
spo

because i can

2006-06-10T00:13:00.001-05:00

my apologies* to Pedals, my sister’s dog, for the public posting of this photo.

*not really.

things i did today (not a comprehensive list)

2006-06-07T23:27:00.000-05:00

+fell asleep while sending a text message (half asleep)
+ate a lovely brunch of leftover pizza and taquitos with a dessert of chocolate
+loaded the dishwasher and turned it on
+played with a dog, let her outside and almost forgot to let her back in
+scrubbed and cleaned a stove, its nobs & burner plates
+scrubbed and cleaned a microwave
+wiped down a refrigerator and cleaned the tray that collects the water from the in-door water/ice machine
+swept a kitchen
+half-watched “The Aviator”
+gave in and changed my watch, cell phone and mac to Central Standard Time
+talked to both of my twin brothers on the phone, one of whom was in illinois while the other was downstairs
+downloaded a new ringtone on my phone just for K (james blunt’s “high”)
+continued working on a business card and letterhead for an art therapy consulting group
+played with my nephews
+laughed and marveled at their intelligence and precociousness
+read a book about Curious George and a chocolate factory (and did the voices)
+read a pop-up book about fast machines
+read a Richard Scarry book about pigs that paint a firehouse
+read a book about furry animals and put the book up to my cheek to feel the fur (per the book’s instructions)
+sneezed six or eight times in rapid succession after feeling fur
+ate a chinese chicken salad with possibly expired mandarin oranges
+ate one and a half vanilla cupcakes with pink fake strawberry icing
+scolded my nephew for looking down my shirt
+helped plan a party for my mom’s 65th birthday, my parents’ 40th wedding anniversary, and Father’s Day
+sang along to bad 80s and 90s FM in the car

yeehaw

2006-06-06T22:00:00.000-05:00

hi y’all.

well, i made it safely to the Lone Star State. i’m here at karen and gary’s house in pearland, where i’ll probably be for the next couple of days.

i will most likely be relaxing, hanging out with family and eating Good Food You Can Only Get In Texas for the next three weeks, but i promise to keep everyone abreast of what i’m up to.

because that’s just the exciting life i lead... which makes for a compelling read.

blog slacker

2006-06-04T22:32:00.000-05:00

yes, dear readers, i am still alive. and quite well, thank you.

so sorry i haven’t posted in ages. i’ve been a little occupied. my sister and her boyfriend were in town for Memorial Day weekend, i leave for Texas on tuesday until the 27th and i have been spending as much time with K as possible in the meantime.

a few things of note:

+K stands for Kevin. and yes, we’re still dating. things are actually going quite marvelously. i had a couple of other prospects, but the chemistry was severely lacking.
+i left a comment about the baby shark on my last post—it has three driving modes: standard, automatic and sport. and no i have not driven it again, though K has offered to let me since then.
+i am not taking classes this summer. i am actually taking the summer off so i can focus on my mental health.
+while in Texas, i will be taking a cruise out of Galveston with my parents to Cozumel.

a brief synopsis of the past week’s events:

sat 5/27
karen and john drove up from orange county and arrived a few hours before the BBQ i threw for them. the BBQ went really well—everyone loved my version of Chipotle’s Burrito Bols, and we all had fun playing games afterwards.

sun 5/28
karen, john, marisela and i had brunch at Liberty Cafe before i drove them to the wharf for our alactraz tour. on the way there, we drove down lombard street which was the most crowded i’ve ever seen it. before we went on our tour, we walked around Pier 39 and saw the sea lions. alcatraz was just as creepy as the first time i saw it. at least i got to take cooler pictures this time around.

mon 5/29
drove karen, john and marisela to target so marisela and i could stock up on our earthquake preparedness supplies, based on the 72hours.org list. we bought stuff like beef jerkey, applesauce, tuna packets, emergency blankets, a first aid kit, etc. we have yet to stock up on water and other items like a radio and flashlights... now that i think about it, those are probably the most important items on there. hmmm...

tues 5/30
had the most amazing meal with K at Ana Mandara, which is owned by Don Johnson (of Miami Vice fame). on his way to pick me up, K & the baby shark got rear-ended. K is fine, but the baby shark will need to be fixed.

wed 5/31
um, i don’t remember what i did that day, though i’m sure it involved watching reruns of Gilmore Girls.

thurs 6/01
K picked me up and we had noodles at Mifune in Japantown and then we saw the play Andronicus, which was a 1930s mafia adaptation of Shakespeare’s Titus Andronicus, produced by Into the Breach.

fri 6/02
nothing worth mentioning. tried to read more of The DaVinci Code, but failed miserably.

sat 6/03
K picked me up and we drove into Emeryville/Oakland for two reasons: 1) so i could drop off my new, broke-ass Epson scanner for repair 2) so we could have lunch (the best paninis EVER) and take the factory tour at Scharffen Berger. if you haven’t tried their chocolate yet, i strongly encourage you to try some today. right now. stop what you’re doing/reading and get some. it’s some of the best i’ve ever had. in fact, i spent $85 in the gift shop on gifts and chocolate to bring back to Texas. yes, it’s THAT good.

today
met Jim at the Metreon to see “The DaVinci Code” and a late lunch/early dinner at Mel’s Diner.

right now
exhausted. must get to bed. i promise to write more soon.

the mint, madonna and miming madness

2006-05-27T14:03:00.000-05:00

i awoke this morning feeling slightly hungover. and i only had 2 drinks last night!

K came to pick me up just before 6 and i got to drive the baby shark. i found it amusing (but totally justified) that he actually asked if i was a licensed driver... which, of course, i am. but i showed him my Texas driver’s license anyway.

apparently, i am the ONLY one he’s ever let drive his car. like most sports cars (i’m assuming), his was very low to the ground. before i moved here, i was driving a ’99 Honda Passport, which has a high center of gravity. so, it was a bit of a change to drive something so low.

the drive to The Mint was pretty straightforward (and i only gunned it once! 0–50 in no time at all); it was the parking that took a little time. as i’m sure it is in other cities, parking on certain streets on certain days are limited to 2 hours until a certain time (sorry for all the certains in that sentence). plus, i felt a little like Goldilocks looking for the spot that was “just right.” finally, i found one and it was only about a block away from the lounge.

we went inside and i met several of K’s friends right away. i can’t for the life of me remember all of their names, but they were all a mix of random coworkers and friends he’s known over the years. people were already singing (some good, some bad), but as the evening wore on, the crowd in the bar grew larger, and thus more involved and encouraging in the performances.

K was actually co-celebrating with one of his good friends, Diane... between the two of them, their party consisted of about 20 people. i felt a little bit like i was under a microscope as K’s date, but after a while, i didn’t seem to mind.

as the Birthday Boy, i told K he wasn’t leaving until he sang at least one song (which ended up being recorded!), so we made up a list of contenders from the menu tome of apparently 30,000 songs. some songs from the list: “Take Me Home, Country roads” by John Denver, “All I Want” by Toad the Wet Sprocket, “You’re The Inspiration” by Chicago, “The Space Between” by Dave Mathews Band. he ended up singing the John Denver song, because he knew it “forwards and backwards, and upside-down, underwater with his hands tied behind his back.” this song ended up being recorded. he also sang “All I Want.” i can‘t say that he’s the next American Idol, but he definitely wins the Gold Star in my book for guts.

after he sang those songs (which he did with the aid of a liquid friend called Patron), i felt a little inspired to sing a song of my own. i’ve never sung karaoke in public (only at someone’s home), so it was a new experience for me, too. i had decided that if i was going to sing a song, it would be Madonna’s “Like a Prayer.” and since it was his birthday, i thought i owed it to K to embarass myself a little in return.

i can’t say that it isn’t intimidating, going up in front of about, oh, i dunno, 80–100 people and singing, but i will say that after you get over the initial shock of hearing yourself, it’s not so bad. especially if the song is a crowd-pleaser, which mine was. the audience is much more inclined to sing along with you, thus helping you with the melody and hitting the right notes and rhythm. i thought i sounded sucky/okay, but everyone said i sounded good. oh well. at least i wasn’t recorded.

as the evening progressed further (we were there for almost 6 hours), K got increasingly drunker. he’s a pretty slim guy, and at 5'8" with not much food in his stomach... well, you do the math. all of his friends kept buying him tequila shots, and he kept drinking them. after a while, he told me he couldn’t feel his face and then a little later, started curling his hands and fingers like he was doing magic tricks. then, with some goading from us, he started MIMING. as in, trapped-in-an-imaginary-glass-box miming. it was absolutely hysterical. not only was he miming drunk, but he was making sound effects as well. which, of course, breaks all miming rules. i wasn’t sure if i was more embarassed for him or entertained by him... but it was quite amusing nonetheless.

we finally left at midnight, and i once again drove K’s car because he was not really in any shape to. i had only had two drinks, which was a good thing, because it was apparent i’d be the designated driver for the night. luckily, i’d already won his trust in driving his car earlier that evening.

it was definitely an evening of firsts: driving a BMW for the first time, meeting K’s friends for the first time, going to the Mint and singing karaoke for the first time.

in all, it was a pretty fun night.

most productive day everrrr!

2006-05-26T15:35:00.001-05:00

just thought i’d toot my own horn. plus, i felt like posting. so there.

today, i awoke at 6:45 am (pretty f’in early even for me, but i couldn’t get the sun to go back to sleep) and since then, i have:

+washed all the dishes in the sink
+swept the entryway (will do the kitchen tomorrow)
+burned a CD for tomorrow’s BBQ
+cleaned the kitchen, living room and my room
+clipped and painted my toenails (a lovely shade of pomegranate red, called “scarlet sanctuary”) while watching Gilmore Girls
+vacuumed the living room, dining area, hallway, and my room, including the baseboards and edges
+cut a wig’s worth of hair from the bottom of the vacuum
+taken out the trash
+talked to my sister on the phone
+talked to a potential suitor on the phone
+made my own wrapping paper
+wrapped a present.

i still have yet to shower, but i’m about to do that now (no use taking one if i’m just gonna get dirty again cleaning!), and i’m debating whether or not i have enough time to go to the grocery store to buy all the stuff for the BBQ. K is picking me up at 5:45—tomorrow is his birthday and he’s celebrating it tonight at The Mint, which is a karaoke lounge here in SF. he’s letting me drive his car there, which i’m pretty excited about (it looks like this, but in black.)

i may just go to the grocery store early tomorrow (with the granny cart and perhaps an extra set of hands... ahem*marisela*ahem), and either read The DaVinci Code, which i picked up on wednesday, or take a nice, long afternoon nap.

hmmm... naps trump all.

manners matter

2006-05-25T02:25:00.000-05:00

have i ever written about the lack of manners and etiquette in northern california? (beware: rant ahead.)

ever since i moved here (in august of 2004), i’ve noticed a huge scarcity of the common courtesies that put the “civil” in civilian: while in a car (as a passenger or driver), while in shopping areas, on Muni/BART, living in our flat... many people here in calfiornia are just downright rude.

take for instance the short interaction i had this evening, as i was waiting for the 10 near the barnes & noble in fisherman’s wharf. i was meeting K for dinner at fog city diner, and had lots of purchases from earlier, so i decided to take the 10, since i was pretty sure it went right past it.

i walked past a bus shelter, about 90% sure the 10 stopped there. but since there was no indication that it did (it just said, “Lines,” with no number after it), i approached a woman who was standing just outside of the shelter:

ME: does the 10 stop here?
WOMAN: [no response]
ME: [repeating] does the 10 stop here?
WOMAN: [captiously] oh, are you talking to me?
ME: oh, well, yes.
WOMAN: yes. it. does.
ME: [taken aback] okay... th——
WOMAN: [abrasively] YOU’RE WELCOME!
ME: [incredulously] thank you! OK, fine!

i was so stunned by her rudeness, and assumption that *i* was the rude person in the scenario, that i just kept walking. i did NOT want to wait around or get on a bus in her aura of negativity. god knows i’ve had enough shit to deal with in the past week (ie, one of my trusted teachers telling me i needed to look for another career—ask me about that one later), so i ended up taking the F along the Embarcadero, which, even though i overshot the diner and it ended up being a longer ride full of tourists, was actually a more pleasant experience overall. it really saddens me that people here can’t even be civil to one another. it’s not like i asked the woman for money, or for her to give me the detailed route of the 10. a simple yes or no would have sufficed.

i think sometimes, in my interaction with others, i tend to overcompensate (within my own comfort and safety parameters). as i was waiting for my bus to take me to BART earlier this afternoon, a guy asked me if the bus would take him to the BART station. i took the time out to tell him that the 23 would, and that it would be here in a couple of minutes. he asked if BART was within walking distance, but i said it would take at least 20 minutes to walk it, and if he just waited for the bus, it would only take 5 minutes to get there.

then, as i was waiting for the 10 to take me to the barnes & noble, i asked another woman if she was waiting for the 10. she and i had a very cordial conversation about the buses only coming when they wanted, and how three of the ones you DON’T want go by first...

another thing that really gets my goat is when people don’t or won’t open their mouths to say “excuse me” when they want to pass by, say in the cramped aisle of a store. it’s this pathetic game of chicken to see who will cave and move aside. as a test, sometimes i hold out as long as i can before moving (caving) to see if the person has any couth. 10 times out of 10, i lose.

i have this philosophy, which i may have mentioned before: i call it Bus Karma. i always make it a point to either greet the Muni driver or say thank you to him/her when entering/leaving a bus. i have a superstition that if i don’t do at least one of those, then my next bus will be late, or not come when i want it to, or at all. i haven’t tested the veracity of this method, but it seems to work.

cumulatively, i think the lack of manners in other people has jaded me. which is why i don’t smile at men in public (a very hot topic on the SF craigslist), why i don’t sing on the bus (though i think that is more my neuroses than anything) and why i was really disheartened when i didn’t recognize the courtesy (actually, it was more of a pleasantry) the other day when i was walking home from dinner with maggie. as we passed a woman on the sidewalk talking to another woman in a car, the woman in the car called out: “You ladies have a blessed evening!” it took us both a few moments to realize that she was talking to US, and then we turned around and said, “Oh! Thank you!”

i think everyone is so busy being PC that they’ve forgotten that courtesies are supposed to be common. i’ve stopped saying “Bless You” to strangers when they sneeze because i’m afraid it will offend those who aren’t Christian. how fucked up is that? i’m not sure if it’s the city mentality (ie, personal space is more sacred and thus more guarded) or if it’s a california thing, or just something i’ve experienced in san francisco.

the one thing i know with any certainty is that ultimately, manners DO matter, no matter where you live.

some things are just too good to let go.

2006-05-23T14:31:00.000-05:00

i thought i’d post something since i am at home, sick, and still in my pajamas past noon.

i am actually wearing my favorite PJ bottoms (i rarely wear matching PJ sets—mainly just the bottoms and a tee). they are thin, lavender (though a dingy shade now) cotton drawstring pants, and have small illustrations of iconic travel-themed monuments sprinkled all over the fabric: Big Ben, the Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Triomphe, double-decker buses, a fountain and a street signpost. next to these icons are jaunty phrases such as “look at Big Ben!” and “let's go see the Eiffel Tower...” and “throw a penny in the fountain & make a wish!”

i have loved them ever since i bought them about four or five years ago, when i weighed more. they are now really big on me, but i still love them because they are so soft after dozens of washings. plus, they have pockets, which are a lovely bonus, especially for pajama pants. (because you never know when you have to put something in your pocket... while um, sleeping...)

i went out earlier to walk down to the convenience store around the corner (i needed OJ to go with my two-egg omelette) and i seriously considered throwing on a coat over my PJs... it’s a good thing i changed into regular clothes, because there were some hot construction boys working on a house next to the store. but i still looked like ass because i was wearing my glasses, i didn’t have any makeup on and my hair was a mess.

i should have just worn the PJs out.

a little creeped out.

2006-05-21T22:53:00.000-05:00

um... i think i have a blogstalker.

see comments under the past six or seven posts and you’ll understand why. which is also why i don’t use my last name or any other overtly identifying details. maybe i should take my photo down? what does everyone think?

the internet can be a scary, scary place.

the importance of finishing.

2006-05-18T23:41:00.000-05:00

with a large sigh of relief, i can say that i’m finally done. it’s been a long, hard 15 weeks.

as some of you know, this semester has been really rough for me. so much so that i quit working at Curves (temporarily) in march so that i could focus on school and my mental health. i started seeing a “Life Coach,” (aka therapist) and since then, i’ve definitely improved...

the end of the semester came at me like a ton of bricks and i was worried i wouldn’t be able to get all my revisions done (as well as finish my current final projects). fortunately, i was able to finish everything, but not quite as perfectly or completely as i would have liked.

the one thing i’ve learned about myself in the past few months is to try to let go of my (sometimes crippling) perfectionist attitude (“if i don’t do it perfectly, i won’t do it at all.”). but it’s hard to not obsess and nitpick about my work because that is the nature of being a designer, and well, it’s the way i’ve operated for quite some time.

when i was younger, i remember reading a book* about a kid who was trying to solve the riddle: what is the biggest room in the world? if i remember correctly, the kid traveled all over the world searching high and low for the largest (physical) room. everywhere he (she?) went, he got differing opinions on the subject. finally, he found the answer, but it wasn’t an actual room in a building or a house: the biggest room in the world... is room for improvement.

that riddle has always stuck with me. i once heard one of my instructors say that no design is ever truly finished, that it can always be tweaked and refined and yes, improved. but there are only 24 hours in a day and sometimes you just have to let it go.

i’ve heard that bronze medal winners are often happier than silver medalists, and now i think i understand why: sometimes just finishing is more important than achieving perfection.

*if anyone knows which book i’m talking about, i’d appreciate the title.

blog and be happy

2006-05-17T03:00:00.000-05:00

the title of my post refers to the Sing and Be Happy choir (of my childhood church) i was once a part of when i was about 5.

i know i said i wasn’t going to post unless i just couldn’t resist (like yesterday), but i realized that writing on my blog is one of the few things that keeps me sane in the midst of chaos, because my blog is like this big electronic basket where i can transfer all the random thoughts, observations, news, etc. that i carry around in my head all day.

i was reminded of the phrase “sing and be happy” tonight, on the bus ride home from BART. there were only two passengers on the bus—myself and another woman. our female bus driver, as she was maneuvering the bus around, was singing to herself. now, whatever she was singing was certainly not American Idol-worthy, but she was singing with such aplomb that i admired her for it. whenever i sing in the car (which, these days is approximately never), the audience normally just consists of myself. but ms. muni driver didn’t care that we could hear her, and she kept on singing as if we weren’t there. perhaps she was singing to keep herself awake (which i don’t mind either), but i like to think it was because she was singing for the sake of singing.

i often wonder what would happen if i started singing aloud to my iPod on the bus or BART. sometimes i really, really want to (especially if i’m listening to a really good song) but then i’d have to contend with a) quizzical/dirty/weird looks from other commuters b) the fact that my singing voice isn’t exactly American Idol-worthy either and c) the thought of being like the kid in the movie version of “About A Boy.”

so sometimes i just end up humming, or even mouthing the words to myself, which, in the end, is much, much weirder than actually singing aloud in the first place.

the fruits of my labor: update

2006-05-15T20:10:00.000-05:00

just got home from my final class in Packaging 1.

i’m not quite sure how i’m able to sit upright, much less function at the most basic level, seeing as how i got about an hour of sleep this morning at around 7 am.

anyway... for those of you whom i’ve kept abreast, i finished the Bristol Bulldog Plane package, as well as the plane (graphics). i submitted them along with my previous paper gift set for the final presentation today.

sadly, Bishop the Bulldog in his Biplane did not get chosen for the Spring Show. (bummer.) my paper gift set, however, did!

i now have another yellow sticky (post-it) from mary scott to add to my collection. (ask me what this means if you don‘t know.) now if i can just make it through the rest of this week...

i leave you with some shots of my bags that a friend took a few weekends ago (and consequently ended up accidentally ruining a few of them—long story.)

hope everyone is well.

quickly

2006-05-13T12:06:00.000-05:00

too random to not post:

i got a wink (actually, make that one wink, FOUR times) from “ng2aradiofunk,” a 56-year-old seeking 18 to 110-year-old women. i’m not sure if his profile is a joke (from his handle and his age range it seems it is), but here is his description of himself:

About me

Meet me for coffee-kisses-love
i need dating help and practical hands-on training instructor TA
w/experience

My accomplishments

Engineer - retired ... World Traveled
related to Engineering Projects.......
fit..energetic..able to administer mouth
to mouth kissing and other Life Saving EMT
-Maths-Science-Religion-Art -Plato-Aristotle-
VeddicSankrit. ...Engineering Maths and Electronic
Raja Yoga disciplined life style - Physical Mental
Tantric Kundalini

---

i would post his photo, but that wouldn’t be nice. just know that he looks just like Ben Stein. oh, and he’s ONLY 3 miles from me!

will wonders never cease?

is it hot in here, or is it just hell?

2006-05-10T23:51:00.000-05:00

it’s that time again.

i have descended into the depths of finals project (final projects?) hell. thus, i have decided to stop blogging for the next week.

so, unless something really crazy/random/funny/quirky/unbelievable happens to me (that i can’t resist posting), you probably won’t hear (read) from me until about next thursday, when, all phoenix-like, i will arise again.

on a lighter, less gothic note, i am having dinner with K tomorrow night. (a girl's gotta eat if she’s going to traverse through the fireswamp, right?)

please pass the iron

2006-05-10T12:59:00.000-05:00

i think i may have an iron deficiency. or rather, i have pica.

i’d say in the last week or two, every time i’ve had ice in my glass, i have drunk all the beverage AND eaten ALL the ice that remained.

just now, i ate about a third of a glass of ice.

some conditions that are associated with pica:

+ pregnancy
+ developmental delay and mental retardation
+ psychiatric disease and autism
+ early childhood
+ poor nutrition or low blood levels of iron and other minerals
+ certain cultural or religious traditions

hmmm... i’ll have poor nutrition for 100, alex.

bloglift

2006-05-09T00:41:00.000-05:00

i have given my blog a facelift.

what does everyone think of it? i am no code genius, so i have been tinkering with it, deleting and adding things sort of haphazardly and piecemeal.

leave me your comments, good and bad, what is working and what is not. and if you hate it... well, you may want to keep that to yourself.

not a crust nor even a crumb in sight!

2006-05-07T21:41:00.000-05:00

it’s great to be pleasantly surprised.

i had my coffee date this afternoon with K*, today in nearby noe valley, and it went better than i imagined it would.

it was a gorgeous day for a date in san francisco—blue skies, 70s, warm enough for flip-flops. i met him at one of my favorite coffee shops, but we quickly decided on brunch/lunch next door at pomelo. i thought it would be nice to sit outside, and enjoy the weather, so we did... but it was really cold on the shady sidewalk!

coldness aside, i had a lovely time, and there wasn’t a shortage of topics to discuss, nor were there any awkward pauses or lulls in the conversation. K and i seem to have similar interests and senses of humor (sense of humors?). i definitely felt like i could be myself around him, which is important. after brunch, we walked around the neighborhood and chatted.

at the end, he asked for my phone number, which is a very good sign indeed.

stay tuned.

*name has been shortened for brevity and privacy.

pillsbury flake boy

2006-05-06T17:49:00.000-05:00

last-minute date cancellations are kind of sucky.

it looks like i won’t be going on my date tonight as he has flaked on me. apparently, he’s come down with some sort of a flu, which has kept him at home for the weekend. he is going to italy for the next two weeks on monday, so i don’t blame him for staying in and getting better. i’d do the same thing if i had a significant amount of money invested in a vacation in two days’ time.

on a positive note, however, he said he a) was “**really** looking forward” to meeting me, b) hopes i’ll still be “around/available” when he gets back so we can get together then and even c) offered to get me something in italy!

oh well... at least i have more time to work on school stuff. i‘m having coffee with another guy tomorrow, so hopefully he won’t turn into crust either.

hang up the corn and drive!

2006-05-04T23:26:00.000-05:00

more random tales of the city...

i took the bus yesterday to my appointment with my LC and i didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary until the driver was trying to make a really wide right turn (into the left lane) onto mission. because there was another bus in the right lane picking up passengers, we sort of just sat in the intersection at a funky angle until the other bus cleared. i had my iPod on, so i couldn’t hear much, but i think the driver yelled, “OK!” perhaps to someone in the back of the bus who was complaining.

it was then that i looked up and noticed the driver, an older asian man, was eating... CORN ON THE COB.

first of all, can i just say how random it was that he was eating corn on the cob??? i mean, an apple, say, wouldn’t have been that random, because plenty of people eat apples for snacks, but there is still the matter of holding it and taking the periodic bite. but corn on the cob? surely he could have found a better snack to eat, like chips or something that can be eaten one-by-one and NOT occupy one of his steering hands.

secondly, he wasn’t just taking random bites out of it, either. i’m not sure if it’s an asian thing (because my dad and other relatives eat corn this way), but mr. muni driver was eating the corn ROW by ROW. (as in, removing the kernels clean and whole, one row at a time, and not just biting into the cob like an apple.)

this corn-eating method, while effective and doesn’t leave corn stuck in your teeth, requires patience and attention. at least, when i’ve eaten corn that way, i have to focus on separating each row of kernels out with my teeth to make sure they come out cleanly. but i’m usually not driving. a bus full of passengers.

the only thing that slightly put my already disturbed mind at ease about the whole bus-driver-eating-corn-on-the-cob scenario was that he had the foresight to hold the cob in a paper napkin.

at least.

“what’s in a name?”

2006-05-03T04:03:00.000-05:00

i guess juliet never tried online personal ads.

for funsies, i thought i’d list the screen names of some of my latest online winkers (to whom i probably won’t be responding):

Sensul4U dictionary.com, please
Jspeck8370 21 years old! i think i have socks older than him!
euphoriahorse from his profile, he’s a “psychologist, fitness trainer, business owner, poet, pervert, and occultist.” eek!
LUSTANDPASSION4U oh baby, oh baby
napa_screenname thesaurus.com!
mootzy 44, divorced, with kids... shall i call a porter for all your baggage?
souloo another frequent e-mailer. he’s e-mailed me four times asking for my phone number. creepy creepy creepy!

oh, and in case you were wondering, my screen names (which i will not post here for obvious reasons) derive from the names of a funky jewelry store in houston and my favorite fruit.

take a hint already!

2006-05-01T21:41:00.000-05:00

is there a better way to ignore someone? (is that a horrible question?)

in an effort to take a more proactive approach to the whole dating thing (per the advice of my LC*), i have reactivated two out of the three personals profiles that i have online, and updated some of my photos. (yahoo and true, in case you were wondering.) i have chosen NOT to reactivate my match profile solely on the affiliation dr. phil has with it now. i would really not like to have anything to do with him, thankyouverymuch.

anyway, on a daily basis, i get a fair amount of responses from various males in the bay area. and by the bay area, i mean san francisco and any other place i had NO EARTHLY IDEA existed in california. where exactly IS ben lomond, anyway?

most of the time, i usually just get “winked,” which is the passive-aggressive, slightly stalkerish, online version of the actual verb. there is no actual winking involved, just an e-mail in my inbox informing me that so-and-so has been looking at my profile.

oh, and that’s another thing. what is up with guys’ screen names??? if there’s one thing (okay maybe two things) that i really appreciate in another person, male or female, it’s creativity and humor. chances are, about 99.9% of the time, i won’t respond to someone with a handle like “Bnsfjsw” or “Hoty83” or “Bubbashrimp1956.” (all real by the way.)

first off, does no one know how to spell anymore? it DOES matter, if you’re trying to impress me—i notice everything. plus, it’s the year 2006! use spellcheck. or google. or dictionary.com! and 9 times out of 10, if they’ve attached a year to the end of their handle, it’s the year they were born. so... if i’m old enough to have been their babysitter at one point (1982 or later), or conversely, if i’m young enough to be their daughter (anyone 20+ years my senior), they won’t be getting any eyelash action back from me. sorry fellas!

and for those extra-special suitors that keep winking and e-mailing me repeatedly (“JAMIL1965”) or with handles like “Muffdiver2262” (both real), i... well... hmmm. i don’t have anything to say about that. i’m way too creeped out.

most of the time (this goes mostly for the true winks), i just look at the guy’s photo—another filtering system. either they post photos of themselves doing something sporty or outdoorsy (either skiing, hiking or on a boat), or they’ve scanned their driver’s license or a really, really bad photo from 1997. from prison. just kidding. but some of them do look mug-shot-ish, though.

i think the most normal responses i’ve gotten are from my yahoo profile. it’s still a mixed bag, but at least the guys on yahoo take the time out to write me a real e-mail, some even thanking me for having a witty and charming profile to read, with interesting photos. one guy even said that he was convinced i wrote professionally at some point! (the text at the top of this blog is actually from one of my profiles.) i figure it’s much more compelling to read something quirky/funny/witty rather than a run-of-the-mill laundry list of what you’re looking for in a potential mate. i may have something in the works for saturday, so i’ll keep you curious cats posted. just don’t hold your breath for too long.

anyway... that’s my long-winded rant for the evening. i’m hungry now.

*LC=Life Coach.

hmm... tricky.

2006-04-30T22:12:00.000-05:00

help me out with this one:

i’m all for good communication.
ditto for the rights of disabled persons.
and i advocate safe driving and obeying the laws of the road.

HOWEVER...

as i was waiting for the bus today, i saw a car drive by with three people in it. there was a male driver, a male front-seat passenger, and a female back-seat passenger.

and all three were speaking in sign language. including the driver.

i found it a little worrisome.

all my crap: update—with photos!

2006-04-30T00:19:00.000-05:00

i was rooting around in my things the other night and found these two photos of my room, when i first moved here in august of 2004 (that’s philippa in the second one; click on any photo to enlarge):

so, as a big fan of before and after shots, i thought it would be fun to juxtapose these with what my room looks like now (sorry the lighting’s not that great as it is now nighttime and, well, dark):

like i mentioned in my last post, and as you can clearly see... i do indeed have a lot of stuff.

a place for all my crap...

2006-04-27T02:10:00.000-05:00

and all my crap in its place. (isn’t that how the saying goes?)

i have a lot of stuff.

in the last 21 months, i’ve managed to amass quite a lot of things, considering i moved out here with only four suitcases. i can remember telling everyone that all i would need when i got to california was a bed, a desk and a chair. HA!

technically, i DID start out with just those three things. (funny, my room seemed a LOT bigger then, even though i have the smallest room in the flat.) but it soon became apparent that i was going to need a more substantial workspace, especially since my foray into art school began in the interior architecture and design department.

so, i got a drafting table kit, which came with a drafting table and side caddy, an adjustable-height rolling chair and a swing-arm lamp. to store my books and supplies, i bought one of those crappy wire cube unit thingies (kind of like yaffa blocks, but metal). for the better part of a year, these things served me well.

but as time went on and i switched to graphic design, i accumulated many more things, especially books and supplies. my wire cube unit thing just couldn’t withstand the amount of weight i subjected it to and it finally collapsed and died, leaving me with a heap of books, papers and supplies.

right around that time, maggie’s coworker, jill, called us up to see if we wanted some furniture she had picked up (dirt cheap) at their company’s employee-only sample sale. (they work for williams-sonoma, under which west elm is a subsidiary.) her husband wouldn’t allow her to bring home any of the items she picked up at the sale, which included a TV cabinet, a wicker chair (both williams-sonoma) and a credenza (west elm). quite coincidentally, these were all things that we needed in our flat. and she gave them to us for the low, low price of free! (we just had to carry everything upstairs from her car.)

so, into my room went the credenza. it is a lovely espresso-colored wood and a nice, flat surface with tons of storage. my printer lives on one half and now my new scanner lives on the other.

however, even after the addition of the credenza, i still had some storage issues. it seemed like i had supplies everywhere—in tons of different containers—and there was no central location for them. and whenever i would do a project, it seemed i spent half my time looking for things. plus, my personal library was growing, and i needed more shelf space for books.

so, i ordered a six-drawer rolling storage unit, a bookcase and a metal wall pegboard-type unit on which to hang and display things. these three things made a HUGE difference in organizing my room. now all my supplies live in the same place, i don’t have trouble finding things and clean-up after projects is really quick.

however, i still had a pile of crap in the weird panhandle-like projection part of my room: comforters in their bags, rolls of tracing and wrapping paper, supplies from my drawing class, huge sheets of chipboard, an old scanner, my sewing machine... these are all things i needed at one point, and may still need at some point in the future, but i can’t bring myself to get rid of.

enter the chrome storage unit.

this baby came today (the one with five shelves):

it’s about 6' tall, 2' feet wide and 18" deep... very utilitarian and just what i needed.

long (and probably really boring) story short: all my storage needs have been met, and i truly and finally feel like i live here. isn’t it amazing what furniture can do for your life?

spo

ps-i just realized i can never move out of this room.

04.21.1977, 2:18 am

2006-04-23T19:03:00.000-05:00

quite appropriately, for my birthday, my mom sent me a copy of my birth certificate and a picture of me when i was born. i scanned the xeroxed photo and tried to tweak it in photoshop... does it look like me? (i’ve juxtaposed it with a photo taken at maggie’s birthday dinner from a couple of weeks ago.)

more importantly, however, what’s up with the pointy hairdo? did they not believe in combs in 1977? really.

birthday wishes—granted!

2006-04-22T11:27:00.000-05:00

everything came true, apart from the steak (i was too full to have a 14 oz piece of meat) and the drinks (again, too full).

+it didn’t rain, despite the forecasted 60% chance.
+i’m very pleased with my haircut (from kathleen at treat)
+i didn’t fall in the restaurant, or anywhere else.
+i didn’t spill anything on my birthday dress.
+the cupcakes were heavenly, despite being eaten at a bar. (sorry phils! i forgot to take photos of them before they were devoured!)

memorable quips of the evening (anonymized for the quoted’s protection):

“don’t take a picture of my cleavage! this is a dress my mother would not approve of.” [not me, by the way]
“there’s a $2 plating fee for the cupcakes, so we’re either going to have to eat them somewhere else... or on the street.”
“it just seems wrong, eating cupcakes in a bar.”
“we were just saying how glad we were that you were expelled from your mother’s vagina.”

and now for the photos:

thanks to all my friends who came out to celebrate with me... you are all so lovely.

29 forever!
spo

(slightly neurotic) birthday wishes

2006-04-21T02:16:00.000-05:00

+please don’t rain. please don’t rain. please don’t rain.

+i hope the cupcakes i ordered taste good.

+i hope my haircut turns out cute.

+i hope i don’t get anything on my birthday dress.

+i hope dinner with friends turns out well. and medium well. i plan on ordering a big fat steak.

+i hope i don’t fall in the restaurant. or anywhere else for that matter.

+i hope wherever we go after, a cute boy buys me a birthday drink. or four. haha.

i love being a girl!

2006-04-19T19:02:00.000-05:00

i’ve often wondered: do men appreciate flowers as much as women do?

look at these lovely roses my sister sent me for my birthday (though the card was signed by four dogs (pedals, cosmo, doc and jax). i added the yellow and white ranunculuses (ranunculi?) for extra volume and punch. aren’t they goooooorgeous?

yay! i love it when birthdays start early. if i won the lottery, i’d have fresh flowers every day. thanks karen!

easter greetings and more

2006-04-16T22:30:00.000-05:00

happy easter! i’m so tired!

today marisela and i hosted an easter BBQ lunch for our friends—angel, carrie, enrique, jim, maggie and mike. on the menu were beef fajitas, chicken drumsticks and sausage. plus tortillas, mexican rice, beans, potato salad and fresh guacamole (a la carrie). for dessert, we had coconut cream pie and chocolate ecstasy balls. yummmmm.

mike was the first to arrive, followed shortly by jim. the three of us went downstairs to the back patio and set up the grill. after some trouble with the slightly damp coals (from our last barbecue (who knows when)), we got them to ignite after jim doused them with lighter fluid. for the next hour or so, we cooked the fajitas, sausage and chicken. surprisingly, the rain stayed away so we could cook.

after everything was done, we went back upstairs and joined all the others and ate. and ate some more. carrie brought over her namco 5-in-1 joystick, which was a source of great entertainment. and by that i mean enrique played it, shrieking with delight and frustration, shouting expletives (“assbitch”) at the screen, while we howled with laughter at him.

in all, it was a great day.

when just about everyone left, i retreated into my room. in a fit of inspired creativity, i set out to make this portfolio: (click on photos to enlarge)

i’ve been wanting a new one to transport my work (flat) to and from school. my old one, which i’ve had for about a year, is starting to get really worn and beaten up. new ones retail for about $10 or $12 at most art stores, but i had all of the materials to make one, so i decided to make one for myself.

i’m really pleased with the results. as you can see, i’ve made it so that there are compartments on both sides (my old one is just one-sided), and i added my initials to the front via an old rubdown i had made last year for a school project. for the ties, i punched holes in the matboard, added metal eyelets for strength and repurposed the handles from two nordstrom bags.

it was a really fun project and it hit the spot, like a little creative snack. now if i have any energy left, i will do some real homework.

hope everyone had a great easter. happy birthday nicole! (4/17) i miss you!

spo